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Dh has no money sense

O.K. here's my problem, my husband and I are on welfare. We are both in school so that this will not be a perment situation. I pay all the bills and we make it, but sometimes it is very, very close. Dh is a good man in all other respects but he has no money sense. He can't go to the store and just come back with what he goes for. Thankfully it is usually small stuff like cd's or dvd's. But I feel we should be more careful with money, I am a penny pincher and any spending for extras comes at the end of the month and is usually for the kids or family activites.
So should I make a big issue of this or just try to compensate even more for his money habits?

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teamquinn

Asked by teamquinn at 8:49 PM on Feb. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • when you send him to the store....give him only what he needs to buy what you are sending him for and ask for the change back. my bf generally give me all the money but like 100 for himself throughout the week and he uses that for gas, drinks, food, whatever. we never really made a big thing about it. and if you are really worried about it. jsut talk to him about wanting to cut back extra spending all around. don't make it out like he is the only one spending extra money.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 8:56 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • I would sit him down and tell him that it bothers you, he may not realize that it bothers you. You actually made it pretty clear in your question what you want from him, I would just tell him exactly what you have up here, I wouldn't say make a big deal about it, but definetly point out your concerns to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • You definitely need to talk to him about it and try to make him understand things from your viewpoint. The extra spending can come later when you both are out of school and making more money...
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 8:56 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • give him just enough money to buy what he's going for.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:57 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • You should express your concerns to him. If he doesn't show improvement, do all of the shopping yourself, if possible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • We live on a limited budget at our house too, so those "little extras" can really make a difference at the end of the month. Sometimes it's hard not to buy those little things that we want, but you've got to rein it in. Tell him that he can get on the computer and listen to any music he wants, for free, so he doesn't have to buy cd's. I would also only send him with just enough money to buy what you need, nothing else. It would bother me greatly if my DH did this regularly. He's so tight, he asks me how much he can spend on Valentine's Day, lol.
    Mizzjos

    Answer by Mizzjos at 8:58 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • This may seem like the craziest idea, but have you thought about letting him control the money? Maybe his buying little extras here and there is his way of feeling like he has some control over your penny pinching ways. I'm not saying its bad to pinch the pennies, because I do it myself, but it can make a person whose not in charge feel pretty down. Maybe if he knows where the money is going and how its handled, he will stop spending on the little extras. You could try giving him a couple months to do it and see how it goes. Just remember that if you do it, you have to give up control completely. Just tell him how much you need for whatever, like groceries and gas and let it go. You may find you stress less about money and it could work.
    chillemi78

    Answer by chillemi78 at 9:34 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

  • The problem with only giving him cash is that we do everything by atm card. I don't want cash laying around the house.

    I have tried talking to him, many times but it doesn't change. He thinks that it is just little stuff and it shouldn't matter.

    As far as turning over controle of the money to him, we tried that when we were first married. After the power got shut off twice he asked me to take over.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 12:02 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • That is difficult because people who are like that are just like that and I haven't ever seen anyone change! They can be managed, though....so you need to take a strong stand about it and only give him an allowance so he can't mess things up for the family. I had a husband like that for over 20 years and I never could get a handle on him at all....It was like a force I just couldn't control for some reason. At least, if not now but in the future, you should keep separate bank accounts and try to keep him from ever getting any credit cards! The ATM card is probably not a good idea for him. Cash is finite! I should have dealt with my husband earlier in the marriage because now our credit stinks and things are harder than they should be. This is a big issue....do whatever you have to do to get control over it. It won't go away and it will only get worse.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 10:34 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

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