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What do you do when the 'honey moon' period is over?

My DH and I have been married for 2 years coming in August. We've lost that spark between us and now everything just seems routine and bland. I know this is natural in marriage, but I don't know how to get at least some little spark. I feel that if this goes on for much longer, he'll get bored with me and move on to another woman behind my back! Right now, he's making friends with other women and I'm already so paranoid as it is. I don't think he'd do that, but then he is also one of the best liars I know! How can I change things up? What can I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 AM on Mar. 1, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Wow, that last answer was ... harsh. So, I'm a Passion Party consultant and if you want to add spark, I have plenty of products to tell you about to do it, PM me and I'll tell you more! For the relationship, my first question would be - are you religious? There's a great book, called 'The Love Dare', a 40 day challenge to learn to love more selflessly. True love is unselfish, and unconditional. You have to choose to love, for better or for worse. You have to view your partner as an extension of your own body (like your arm) that you would do anyting needed to keep. Then talk to your husband about how you feel, encourage him to join you on the journey to making it work. Love can survive, it just takes a little work sometimes
    ryras_mommy

    Answer by ryras_mommy at 3:03 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • You know now that you are adults. You know now that a relationship is not all about sex. Now you will truly come to love one another without all the drama. How in the world do you think people stay married for 50 years? It is because they truly love one another, they are in love, not lust. It is now time to grow up or become one of America's 95000000 statistics of people who do not know how to keep their pants done up and wind up cheating on their spouses. If he cheats, he is not worth squat, so no need to worry... if he cheats dump his butt because he will only get worse. Wisen up now and face life for what it is. Lust does not last forever.... love does!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Original poster here, I'm not just talking about sex. I'm talking about just livening things up for us. Like more than just sitting around watching TV and movies. I know we should go out on hikes and do active things like that, but what do we do in the winter times when we don't have any money to spend? Sex is kinda a big thing here, but I know how that it's an inevitable thing that sex kinda dies in marriage. What I'm trying to ask here, what do we do when that happens? Replace it with activities?? I guess-...........I don't know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • go on a romantic date, movies or a picnic? Ask some one to watch the kids and have a dinner movie night at home. Give him massages every now and them, make his favorite meal, a foot rub maybe...its amazing how little things like that make a huge difference. Show him why he fell in love with you in the first place, when your sitting with him just give him a little peck of the cheek or neck, or just hold his hand and cuddle...
    I hope this helps good luck
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 3:06 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • What do you mean, he's making friends with other women?

    Baby - it takes TWO to be in a relationship.

    You are not his activities director - you are his wife. Either he is committed to you or he is not, 'nuff said.

    You need to sit him down and talk to him - get a straight answer.

    I am sorry, but massages and vibes will not cut it if he wants to cheat.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 4:43 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • marriage is like buying new shoes. It takes time to break them in. When done they feel comfy but sometimes the shine wears off. Just buff them up. It's more about attitude than sex. That book "Why Men Cheat" that was on Oprah recently said that men cheat NOT primarily for sex but for lack of emotional support and how we make men feel. So, make sure you make him feel welcome when he comes home and as queen make him feel like king of his castle. If have seen women who don't even say hello when he comes home after a really long day at work...then they wonder why dh finds someone else who will. NOT saying your's is cheating. Just make sure he doesn't by letting him know he rocks your world in sex and in life in general.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:49 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • I'm still in the honeymoon phase and I've been married 20 years.  You need to have some common interests as well as some separate interests, and you need to do things together.  I think the secret to my marriage is that my hubby and I are best friends.  We enjoy spending time together,  We crack each other up all the time because we have a similar sense of humour.  We don't nag or criticize each other.  We operate like a team not two people living in the same house.  You need to support each other in bad times and celebrate the good things together.


    Oh and it's not inevitable that sex dies.  For me it just keeps getting better and better.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 8:43 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • You mention he is making friends with other women....I am concerned about that statement. Usually two people get more and more comfortable together, so even when that "spark" dies down there is true intimacy to replace it! But if he is looking outside the marriage for even conversation with women, that could be what is making you uneasy. You are feeling like the responsiblity is on you to make him interested.....It is good to want to be exciting to your husband, but you shouldn't really feel threatened! I think you should look at what is really going through your mind. Are you just bored...or threatened?
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 10:00 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • The honeymoon period dies when you let it. You get comfortable and stop trying because the chase is over. I'll be married 19 years in April and we are still in the honeymoon period.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:17 AM on Mar. 1, 2009