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WHATS GOING TO HAPPEND TO MY MARRIAGE....? ITS MY 1st TIME BEING MARRIED...

ell lets see ive been married for about 3 years my husband is a marine. were both 26 yrs. old .An for the last past weeks we've just been really BAD are marriage has just gone down the drain. We argue for anything an everything, i have a 6 yr. old lil girl from my last relationship and my husband sees her as his kid. Were very different as far as are way of raising kids....ect. but than again we both have strong characters we both dont like to be told what to do. But when were not fighting were awesome he is a great guy . I love it when were not fighting at those times I cant see myself with anyone els. And to top it off hes going to start doing recruting an we dont know were we are going to move to an by the way things are going Im not sure if I want to go knowing that were doing good at all. I havent been able to sleep I havent been able to eat well. ive been crying . we dont have a SEX life not even when were good...ect.

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roxy22sd

Asked by roxy22sd at 1:16 PM on Mar. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • Please read the book "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" it's a damn good book. and see if you cant get your husband to read it too. a few weeks of fighting is not the sign of the end of the road IF you are both willing to put all the effort you've got into making your marriage, your love for one another a reality. Good Luck!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:19 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • I would see if there is a way around recruiting.. I have heard wayyy too many horror stories about some of the lovely females that join..( I even know one that slept with her recruiter.) anywho.. my hubby and I struggle with our sex lifes, and as military wives, it adds a whole new complexity to trying to keep a marriage stable. remember that marriage will have it's great times and it's horrible times.. just try to work through it, I agree with above Poster that is a really good book. talk to him openly, and explain how you feel as well.. best of luck hun
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • First off,write him a heart felt letter explaining how you feel. Then try talking to him. Have you tried counseling or church,if you are religious? Those both may help. Talk to him,have rules that both of you have to hear each other out and not talk over one another or yell. Tell him how much you care and want it to work. If he still is being rude or not trying, I would seperate for a bit and think about what would be best.
    sweetest-sin7

    Answer by sweetest-sin7 at 1:29 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Try seeing a counselor? Don't feel like you have to give up...it sounds like you're still in love, so why throw it all down the drain for a couple of bad weeks? Sounds like things are just stressful, but if you both try to work on your relationship, things could work out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Well, I disagree with the PP about writing a letter. He wouldn't be able to understand it! I had better grammar before I left elementary school.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Marriage is very hard and being a military wife..it's even harder. When it comes to raising your child you guys have to compromise. You might not like how he does things and he may not like what you do, but you guys need to see what works and what doesnt. My husband and I had a hard time with our first son. I learned to back off a bit and see how Daddy's way worked. Marriage is a give and take. All marriages have their ups and downs but you have to want it.. to make it work. Have you thought about counseling? Maybe a break would help you guys understand how much you both mean to each other.
    azn_ladie82

    Answer by azn_ladie82 at 1:39 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Marriage is tough, and the additional strains of it being a military marriage are even worse. The one thing I learned is that you can't just walk away because things are rough, you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and say that you' tried all you could before finally walking away. Perhaps the issues in your relationship aren't truly with one another, but caused by the stresses in your life. We tend to strike out at the ones we love the most when everything else is going wrong. Talk to your hubby try to figure out the things that are bothering you the most and talk about ways to work it out. Like I said the problem might not be each other at all but all the things that are going wrong else where in your life.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 2:09 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Men like fixing things. Tell him to fix it. I'm with a military dude and when we get off track and I want out (or he wants out) I just tell him to fix the doggone thing. I tell him I'm at wits end and I've run out of ideas then I tend to go the helpless route and tell him how smart he is and that he can fix anything he wants to fix (yep mental manipulation on my part feeding his ego) and he does. Tell big daddy to just fix it. My dd's bf is in Iraq and they were fighting the other day over stupid crap in IMs. I was a third party to it all and wanted to slap them both. Life is too short for that nonsense. Both wanted to be right and wouldn't back down. Finally after 7 hours of bickering back and forth I asked them both do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Pick your battles. Let some go. It takes 2 to keep a fight going. Will good come from it in the end? If not, let it go. Be happy. Maybe a move will help.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:20 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

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