Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love My Friend But Not The Child

My friend called me and ask to have a kids day today but I told her I was sick cause I do not like for my kids to play with her son. She let him do thing I would not like for my kids to pick up on. Would u tell her the real reason?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Mar. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Hmmm. That's a hard one. However, you cannot protect your children from all the wrongs in this world. My DS's best friend is my adopted little brother. My brother does all kinds of things i'd rather have my son not learn. And while DS is at my moms he probably gets away with doing some things that i dont like. But when he's at home, it's right back to normal. And he has learned. He knows the rules.
    Good luck Momma. ...BTW, if you tell her she will probably take offense and it is likely to cause problems.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:00 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • I agree with the above poster, you have to decide if once in a while your kids being around each other is enough to possibly cost you your friendship. The reality of the situation is you're both mom's so your kids are always going to be around. You can't keep lying to her because eventually she will clue in and want to know what is going on. If you tell her she is likely to get defensive of her child (It's a mothers nature). Personally I'd take the hard road and tell her, because hopefully once it's out in the open you can come up with a solution that works for both of you guys and your friendship will be safe in the end.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 2:05 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • no, I'd have the play date and let your kids teach him how to behave. Kids are smart and peer pressure is strong. If he doesn't play nice then they won't play with him. If he gets too bad you say something to him but not TO him. if that makes sense. My mom used to say "lets play nice" or "let's not hit" or "lets not spit". That way she wasn't directing her criticism directly to the child himself but getting her point across. I learned to do that and my adult kids do it and it's great. The mom doesn't get pissed and you are teaching him how to play better with others.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:14 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • I agree with admckenzie. I do that too. I never directly say something to the child, but I do in other ways just like she said. It does work. You cant shelter you kids forever, they are going to be around kids like that, I would rather my kids start being around kids like that while i'm around to help give the right tools for him to behave, than for them to be around them when I'm not around (like at school).
    lilmans_mommy

    Answer by lilmans_mommy at 3:28 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN