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Please help me...long

I have a 8 month old daughter. We moved a week before I had her so I didn't help move much besides maybe a bag or two. We had to break out lease due to my boyfriend(baby's daddy) loosing his job. We moved in with a friend and he did most of the moving when I was at work so I didn't feel bad at all. We found another place that was cheap and we moved into there. ( yes, I know it's alot of moving for a 8 month old but it's for the better) I made him do all the moving again due to me working a full time job and being a full time mother. He does maybe once of twice a night play with her ( i mean play not feed, clean, dress, change her) We have lived in this new house since right before v-day. To this day he doesn't have a job which is way over a month. I udnerstand the economy is bad but he's not even trying. He does nohting around the house.Cont...

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Madelyn_Marie

Asked by Madelyn_Marie at 8:31 PM on Mar. 1, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • One day he did 5 loads of laundry and laid them in the playpen for me to go through and hang up. My duahgter's bed is still not up and she is sleeping on the floor. How do i get it through his head to grow up and do something around the house besides playing video games. Please help me....
    Madelyn_Marie

    Answer by Madelyn_Marie at 8:31 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Tell him how you feel. Word the complaint from your point of view "It makes me feel anxious that I am the only one with a job." "It discourages me that you are the stay at home parent, but you aren't doing the stay at home parent jobs of running the house." "What do you suggest that we do to help me feel better?" Try this. I hope you can get things worked out. Don't bring up anything from the past, the moving or anything, they are not relevant here. Never call names. He needs to save face, so word your complaints in such a way that he doesn't get defensive.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:38 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Make him a written list of what you "need" him to do while you are at work. Men have no drive to accomplish anything around the house because that is womans work. That came from my husbands mouth. But if you put it on paper EVERYTHING he needs to do it will get done. They can not see anything that needs done, or can not know what you want done without you pointing it out to him in detail. As sad as it is it works! As for a job keep as busy at home as he would be at a job and he will find a job that wont be as demanding on him lol! Good luck! Bitching doesnt work but you can trick him into doing what you want him to do!
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 8:41 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Give him a lost of things to do.

    Help him in his job search, however you can.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:45 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • When talking with him, use "I" statements. "I feel ...this way when ..." I don't know if I would leave a list of things for him to do. Ask him if he needs help looking for a job and keep the lines of communication open.
    coutterhill

    Answer by coutterhill at 9:00 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • I heard a lady one time say she had to make a Honeydew list. Turns out it was HONEY, DO LIST! I'm all for making him a list of things to do, otherwise, he'll think things are fine and life will go on as it is.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:24 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • put him incheck girl. u have a baby with this man, if hes not going to help u around the house tell him he needs to get a job
    baby-cakes

    Answer by baby-cakes at 9:59 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I dont know his personality. But if he is sort of a no nonsense guy who doesnt like to be told. A list may not work for him lol. If he is this way than he needs to be scared of loosing you. Just keep your head up and talk straight to him. If your going to have a long lasting relationship might as well start out and be honest with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

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