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Should I take my baby and move to my home state? Or stay put here?

I live in ny state, and I have an 8 month old daughter. Her father and I are no longer dating (we were together for 5 years). I have no friends or family here...they are all in Calif. My ex's friends no longer talk to me since he and I broke up. I can't stand his family. He comes over on the weekends to visit with the baby and me, but he's always having to leave because he's going out with one of his many friends. He never thinks to invite ME. He has numerous "friends who are girls", and I don't know if he's dating them or not. He calls them while he's at my house, and tries to make me jealous.

I really wantto go back to Calif. to be near my friends and family, but I know my ex will have a hard time not seeing our 8 month old on a weekly basis. But I'm really depressed here in ny.

What do I do? Do I stay here and make the most of my life in ny state, or should I go back home?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Mar. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I'd be home in a heartbeat. And "dad" would be out of the picture...he's too immature. Calling other girls to make you jealous? What is he, in the seventh grade?

    You deserve better.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:45 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • i honestly dont know what to tell you. the biggest part of me wants to tell you to go, but then i would be concerned about your daughter not growing up with her father being very involved in her life.

    good luck. i am sorry i dont have a very good answer for you.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:31 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • I think you should move back home with your friends and family in cali.If you stay in NY you a going to get more depressed think of you and your daughter.It would probably be nice for you to be around your family...I wish you the best of luck for you and your daughter

    Answer by rissa1789 at 9:33 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • I would go home.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 9:44 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • Home baby girl. You need to be happy just as much as your daughter does. I agree, it will suck with her not being near her father, but hopefully you two will be able to work something out - she visits him, he goes to cali to visit her. If he wants her bad enough, he'll do what he needs to do to be able to see her.

    Answer by KeikoRose at 9:52 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • tell your bf that your going to visit, california and if you miss ny, then go back, what kind of life, would your daughter be around?, if he has all those gf's, are there custody involved? if your not married, then you have custody of child, and you can file such papers, and move out of state.....goodluck to you and your baby girl

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

  • thats a hard one - you have to make that decision and think of what is best for your child - would she be ok being without her dad? or would she be better off if her mom wasn't depressed all the time? she's young enough now to make the decision that's best for YOU! and HER! Doesn't sound like he's TOO dedicated to being a father so take that into consideration also

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:14 PM on Mar. 1, 2009