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am i wrong?

i am in love with a man who once was my boy-friend and we slit-up because he got his ex girlfriend pregnant. he has been with this girl on and off for 10 years. she wants to get married but he doesnt want too. i still talk to him every week, and i feel myself falling more in love every day. i have gone 3 1/2 years without talking to him and i would think about him every single day. since i stared talking to him i feel less stress and happy. i dont want to let him go because he is the man i know i want to spend the rest of my life with.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:42 AM on Mar. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • you will never lose your feelings for your first love but your never gonna be happy till you learn and move on and meet someone and as it sounds he cheated on you and got someone pregnant which to most is a deal breaker in the relationship he hurt you. and he will always have u wraped around his fingers which yoou dont want. you have to try to move on. its hard but can be done, and you will find someone who ends u maken you just as happy and will bring a smile to your face just mentioning his name. move on and find him. good luck.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 7:59 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • If he wants her,then there is nothing you can do,and if they are having a child together,then I think you need to step back,and put your feelings aside for the sake of the baby,don't play second,and let him bounce and forth,you don't deserve that no matter how you feel about him,and besides,looks like he has been with her off and on for ten yrs,he must have feelings for her,so he will continue this pattern,and you be the one left hurt,try to move on and find someone,that will love you and focus only on you.Good Luck

    Answer by Val504 at 8:00 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to hang on to a man who is not totally committed to you? I would not want to. I would rather let him go now and wait for a man whose loyalties and attention could be wholely devoted to me and to our union.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:38 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • You let him go because he got another girl pregnant? I'd say that means he was never as into you as you were into him. He felt no problem having unprotected sex with another woman. Forbidden fruit is always the most tempting. Sometimes we can want something will all of our hearts, but we just aren't going to get it. Or if we do get it, we find it wasn't all we wanted after all. If he got another woman pregnant when he was supposedly your boyfriend, then this says something about the future of any woman he associates with. That he won't marry the mother of his child but remains together with her is just sad. You are a good woman, be strong and make a life on your own. You'll meet a guy that deserves you.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:44 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Are you wrong for loving someone? no but it doesn't sound like it's going to go anywhere with you or the gf. Maybe he likes being his own man and being single. I am not sure how mean this sounds (it's not meant to be mean) but it's easy to "love" someone who you only speak to once a week or so. Ppl tend to fall in love with the image and what they think the relationship could be. I'm not saying you don't love this man. I'm just saying sometimes the fantasy of the possibility of love stays with us for a long time. It's a form of hope of living happily ever after. I hope that came out positive and not negative.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:16 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • He obviously has his own troubles and lots of baggage. There are other men out there. Yes I understand your feelings will not go away and I'm not trying to be cruel but maybe counseling will help. Unless you really only want the drama of playing the role of the poor helpless female who can't live without him...suit yourself.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Bmat took the words right out of my mouth.


    Answer by Navymama at 10:29 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • You do lose your feelings for your first love if you grow up! The first 'love' is just FEELINGS, not really love! FEELINGS change! Move on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • so.. hang on forever and maybe they will invite you to their Wedding?!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • You need to tell him how you feel. If he wants to be with you, then great, you can live happily ever after. But if you tell him how you feel and he doesn't want to be with you, then you know you can move on. Put it out there for him and let him decide what he wants.

    Answer by DDry at 2:18 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

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