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As a step-mom what can I do in this situation?

My SD was late to school this morning because her BM & Stepdad woke up late but, I know what time they were up. should have had plenty of time to get her to school on time. I know that SD was late because I was waiting in the hall in front of her classroom with her book bag. I said I would run her bag there since they didnt have time to stop at our house & make it to school on time but, the first bell was ringing & announcements were starting before SD was in the classroom. Her hair looked a mess & SD looked exhausted. Her teacher looked at me like "what happened?" I tried to explain that her BM had just moved again, but there wasnt time to really tell the story. Either way, I am very upset. I could have made it to her house and picked SKs up & taken SD to school on time from the time I first found out that they were running late.
I am thinking of just telling her that I will pick up my SKs in AM to make sure SD is on time.

 
aly38914290

Asked by aly38914290 at 10:12 AM on Mar. 2, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 8 (259 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I am going to venture to guess that SD lives with you and has weekend visitation with the BM? My next question would, how often does this happen? If this has been the first time, let it slide this once. If this happens way to often, and you are on decent terms with the BM, just see if she would let you pick SD up and take to school... If need be, just use the backpack as the main concern, something on the line of weekends should be fun, not worrying about misplacing a school item. The one time my kids' BM visited them on a weekend, they weren't allowed to take any school stuff over, I would just pick them up Monday morning and drop them off at school. It worked out really well, the kids had fun on the weekend and I got them to school on time.
    Mi_Chelly

    Answer by Mi_Chelly at 3:07 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Sounds like you and your husband need to talk....what is best for your child. Even though you are a Step-Mom..sounds like you are concerned for your new daughter. And may I say "Thank You"! My daughter has a girl in her grade that her Mom passed away and Dad remarried and sounds like neither care much for her anymore. What is best for the child? Not that she doesn't love her...but what is best. You and your husband need to talk and then all the adults.
    heavenschild99

    Answer by heavenschild99 at 10:20 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I don't know how "friendly" you are with the birth mom, but my advice is always to let your hubby handle her. With that said, have him suggest to her that in the future, if she is running late, to call you and you can pick the kids up, to help her out so she doesn't get all stressed out. If you make it sound like you're trying to be helpful, she might be more receptive. To say "I don't want (child's name) to be late, so call me and I'll get her" or something similar makes it sound like you are criticizing, which will put her back up and make her feel like you're trying to take over or something.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:42 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • well first talk to your husband and find out whats best for your child. I dont think getting her to school late is the best way to go. Call your husband and talk to him about picking up the kids and taking them to school early. Or mabey you can talk to him and ask if they can spend the night sunday so that way monday morning you can take them to school or spend the all week with u and weekends where they want to
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • My stepson is six and I feel your pain! I adore him and his BM is always running him around ragged, and late. If I had the chance to take him to school I would because then I know he wouldn't be late. School needs to be a priority and if BM lets you I would take SD to school as often as you can. The most important person in the whole situation is SD and she would DEFIANTLY benefit from being at school on time! I don't agree that you need to take it up with our husband, if you are able to talk to BM DO IT! People don't realize how much step parents care and how little appreciation they get out of it, compared to how much crap with BM's. Good work MOM!
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 3:40 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

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