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Not attracted physically...

My hubby and I have been together for 13 years…married for 5 and have a 5 year old son, we’re pregnant with our second child. I love him with all of my heart and we are very close…we enjoy being together and spending time together. He is my best friend. He is a good man. The thing is that I am not physically attracted to him anymore for some reason. Our sex life is not the best but we do cuddle in bed and stuff. I am turned on when we have sex but I never initiate it and can go long periods of time without having it and not care. Any other moms experience this? No bashing please…mature moms only.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Mar. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I have been there. I dont think its necessarily that I am not attracted to him anymore. I just have no sex drive. I enjoy very much having sex with my husband. Matter of fact its the best sex I have ever had. Just have no desire to come on to him. I am sorry I have no advice for you..Just want you to know that you are not alone!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • You're pregnant, a lot of times that happens when pregnant. I can go long periods of time without it too, but I'm still very much attracted to my man. Of course going with out it is part of my life as a Navy wife.


    Answer by Navymama at 10:54 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Yes.. you are in love.. not lust. Lust only lasts for so long in a relationship. Love is what gets us thru, not sex. How do you think those older folks who have been together forever done it.. they realize they love each other whole heartedly... it's not about physical attraction. Its about love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I'm struggling with this lately myself but in the sense of not wanting this for my whole life.I'm not married to my SO but I don't think I want to marry him anyway.He seems like he will always be the same,with the same friends,smoking himself stupid,doesn't want to have more kids,expects me to wake him up for work when he is an adult and can set an alarm like most responsible adults do.It's OK that your feelings are changing.Just because you are married doesn't mean you turn off your beliefs and feelings.I'm thinking about taking a weekend away from mom and girlfriend time and just getting my stuff together so i can return with a clear conscious.Maybe you could do that before the new bean comes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I really don't see what the problem is. Close your eyes and picture Brad Pitt or whoever. As long as he's a good man and you have a good marriage what more could you ask for?

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:07 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Aww...thank ANON 1057. I really needed to hear this. You are SO right and that is what keeps us together. I was just wondering if my feelings are normal. So comforting to know that other moms share the same issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Oh my. Things like this can happen. I don't doubt you love your Husband. I used to go through this with mines and it stemmed from him not cutting his hair. I lost all attraction to him and would sleep in the living room. Needless to say I don't have this problem anymore. Try seeking out the problem first. Then talking to him. Or go shopping for him and get some nice things you want to see him in.
    I'm just saying the things I've tried.

    Answer by mommatime78 at 11:20 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Sex is not all there is to marriage but it is a big part in it. Just ask any person that is denied on a regular basis. This can be a hormonal thing due to the pregnancy & yes, love will get you through this. However, if it continues then you need to talk to your dr. It is easy to let a month turn into 6, 12, etc... love is patient but as humans, we all have limits. Keep the relationship alive in all other areas & be honest with your dh.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Well your pregnant so obviously you aren't completely un-attracted to him.. Possibly hormones messing with your head!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

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