Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am paranoid and jealous... how can I get over these terrible feelings?

First of all, all my friends know in my past relationships I was never a jealous person. My husband is divorced and he has two kids.. now we are married and we have a son. I have no doubt that we love eachother but I have these paranoid feelings that can sneak up on me out of nowhere. While we were dating, I caught him in a few lies.. never out right cheating though. Also, He is the only one I've ever been with sexually.. He on the other hand has been with a lot of girls.. some that I know. Any suggestions for getting over the past and to stop being jealous and paranoid??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Mar. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • so you're afraid he's going to get caught by you in either a lie or two or outright cheating? I'd go into counselling to get this cleared up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • jealousy stems from insecurity. Paranoia is a symptom of something a bit more serious. So like anon suggested, counseling sounds like the way to go.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:03 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • You're having some trust issues because he lied to you before (and it sounds like the lies were about girls?) and the fact that he's been with a lot of girls in the past makes you wonder if he can stay faithful to just one person (You).
    I think counseling and communication with him will do some good.
    PinkDiamond717

    Answer by PinkDiamond717 at 11:18 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I was never a jealous person either. However, my dh had been caught lying to me quite abit (drug related mostly). He is clean & doing very well for himself but I still have trouble trusting him, 7 yrs later. He does not flat out lie anymore but he changes his mind a lot on things, some serious & some stupid. Anyhow, it makes it hard to believe anything he ever says. Get help because lack of trust can ruin a marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I WISH U LUCK- ITS NO FUN FEELING HOW WE DO- I TOO FEEL PERINOID WITH MY HUSBAND- EVEN THOUGH HE LOVES ME- AND TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL OK ABOUT EVERYRTHING100% I THINK MY PROBLEM WAS WE WERE FRIENDS AND THEN STRATED A RELATIONSHIP- SO I GOT TO SEE ALL THE GIRLS COMING ON TO HIM AT WORK- NOW WE'RE MARRIED- HE'S GOT MY PIC UP AT WORK- AND I STILL WORRY- FOR NOTHING PROB.
    KITTYLITTLES

    Answer by KITTYLITTLES at 12:52 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • You didn't trust him before you married him! big no-no.. you have alot of work ahead of you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • YOU DON'T TRUST HIM, THAT IS THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM.YOUR FEELINGS ARE CALLED INTUITION AND THERE IS NO GETTING OVER THOSE. IF YOU DON'T TRUST, YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH OF A RELATIONSHIP.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:11 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I think a lot of posters are missing a key issue...you have only been with him, he has been with others. This in itself can cause you to feel inadequate and insecure. If you feel that these feelings are coming from within (and not signs of him being dishonest) then do some self reflection. You probably feel like he's wordly and knows all this stuff about sex and you are this "innocent" girl who can't compete with the female sexual predators out there. Start with some self essteem building! You are sexy enough to hold onto your man! See your lack of experiance as a good thing...men often like being the ones to "teach" us something (especially sexual). And, you can try doing something for yourself in order to be more sexually confident. Take a striptease class (or buy a workout video like Carmen Electra's), or just explore what turns you on. Also, remind yourself that he is with you for a reason and loves you!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 7:49 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Not attracted physically...

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
Am I insane??