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Why does he always throw the D word into a fight?

Everytime my dh and I have a disagreement (not the little ones but the big ones) and dh gets ticked he blurts out "that's it I am done, I am filing for divorce Monday" of course it is an empty threat and it never happens. In fact when he says it, it only pisses me off to be honest because I am to the point that if he wants to make threats he better back it up cuz I am tired of playing his stupid Divorce Game. Does anyone else's dh do this or is mine the only colossal moron out there?

And why do they do it anyways? It does leave me to question if in fact that might be what he really wants after all? What would you think? Or am I just over-analyzing?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Mar. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Guess thats what he thinks will hurt you the most, I see the sometimes they will say whatever it is that will get back at you mines does the same thing and has said when he opoligizes that he said things to hurt me. But must not realy understand that the hurt goes a little deeper than words???

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Sounds like he has actually thought about it. I would be crushed if dh ever said that to me. We would have some serious issues, then.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • My ex used to do that to me all the time. He would say that he was going to come home while I was at work and move out and I wouldn't be able to find him. So, he told me that during a fight, and I said if you ever threaten that again you'd better be ready to back it up cause you'll be gone. A few weeks later he said it again, I kicked him out of the house, he moved out the following weekend, and I filed for a divorce the following week. I was not about to spend my whole life listening to threats.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • My husband plays that card sometimes when we really get into a fight, and i think he only does it to piss me off even more and it works.

    Answer by saysha100687 at 12:07 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • In my opinion, he's being a coward by always throwing in the D word every time you get in a big argument. It's easier to get a divorce than to actually work at the marriage. You know how they say under every joke lies the truth, maybe that's the same case with your hubby.

    In any case, good luck and I hope he comes to his senses and quits saying that. He'll regret it when it's too late.

    Answer by bfaith7 at 12:09 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • If my Dh threw the D word at me like that, I would tell him to go ahead and DO IT! Why stay with someone who is threatening you every time you have an argument. That is not a word you say unless deep down you mean it, IMO.

    Answer by KTMOM at 12:28 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • My Hubby was getting to frustrated alot an saying negative things an I got tired of arguing so I told him the i was going to make a sound everytime he was starting an arguement because he always tried to say I was just BI**hin all the time, he got the pic.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Sounds to me like that is something he really wants deep down, because no matter how angry a person gets, you dont say things like that unless you truly feel that way.

    Answer by lilmans_mommy at 12:41 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Tell him to have a fair fight and to say what he means and mean what he says. Tell him the next time he says it you will assume he means it and YOU will file for it yourself. When my x was losing a fight he'd switch gears and to throw me off balance he'd somehow bring the kids into it and say they were not his! (they are) I told him if he ever said it again he's have to pay for DNA testing for all three. That shut him up. Those tests are not cheap! Keep in mind it takes 2 to keep a fight going. If you stop, he has no one with whom to pursue the argument ...and he'll look really dumb screaming at no one who is listening!

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:41 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • My husband has been doing that a lot lately too. I told him that was fine if that was what he wanted. I started making plans to go through with it. I told him I would not stay where I was not wanted. I also told him that it was pretty cowardly to just quit trying to make the marriage work. Of course it takes two to make it work and I can't do it all by myself. He finally came around after a week and told me he really did not want me to leave. He has been pretty good for several days now so we will see. I am willing to make the marriage work but will not be baited into the divorce argument anymore. You are not alone in this at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Mar. 2, 2009