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Is that what he really wants?

If someone spouts that they are filing for divorce when in an argument, for what seems to be for the sake of ending the argument, do they mean it or are the simply saying it to be hurtful and to end the argument?

I have to wonder with my dh cuz I wonder if deep down he does not wish he were actually able to leave or get a divorce. Honestly, I sometimes think if it were not for the kids that may just be the case?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Mar. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • A LOT OF TIMES COUPLES SAY THINGS IN THE HEAT OF AN ARGUMENT THAT THEY DON'T REALLY MEAN. IF YOU HAVE THAT DOUBT, BRING IT UP WHEN YOU ARE AT PEACE.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:04 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • on a calm day when you two are not fighting, just ask him
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:41 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I would never threaten divorce in any arguement. That is so low down. Whether he wants it or not, if you can afford counseling you guys need it. If he doesnt mean it you both need counseling for communication issues. And if he does you need to get the answer to why he wants a divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I've said it.. Usually I am either being "threatening" ( which doesn't work) or I really mean it at the time until I cool down! Although I have learned that you should never say it, unless you mean it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Usually, if I say it, I mean it at the time. Once I cool off, I am able to evaluate the situation and I don't want a divorce. I don't threaten him with it but when I am venting to my mother, I always say I am going to the attorney and starting the paperwork. He is probably feeling the same way. Or maybe he is just trying to make you mad and can see that it does upset you. I would talk to him about it on a day when you aren't mad at each other. Tell him that if he keeps threatening you with it, you might get fed up and just do it yourself!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I would ask him if he means it when you two arent fighting, tell him it really hurts your feelings. But than also, I would make a rule saying that there will be no "D" words unless you TRULY mean it and are going through with it, that is way to hurtful of a thing to say just to be saying it cause you are mad
    Breezy1988

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 2:10 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • i think that bioth my dh and myself have threatened it on each other at least once in the past eight years. It hurts both of the parties, unless one of you really want it. I would sit down and talk calmly about it until you guys come to an understanding that if it is not meant it shouldn't be said.
    mandic

    Answer by mandic at 2:17 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Im a very straight forward person, and if it were me, i would call his bluff. Tell him that the next time he says it then he wont have to worry bout filing because you will!!!!! If he loves you then he will shut his mouth,LOL
    itainteasy25

    Answer by itainteasy25 at 2:26 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • totally agree with itainteasy.. i have no patience for someone who says something hurtful because they have nothing real to say
    dee778

    Answer by dee778 at 9:07 AM on Mar. 3, 2009