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i was wondering if anyone could give me advice on being a better mother and fiance. i want to have more patience with my 1 yr old and my fiance. i belive it will help us get along better! help please

i want to have more patience with my 1 yr old and my fiance. i belive it will help us get along better! help please because right now all me and my fiance do is argue and when my daughter cries and fusses a lot i seem to lose my patience fast! and i feel like i am being a horrible mom and fiance

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courtluhv18

Asked by courtluhv18 at 4:00 PM on Mar. 2, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (10)
  • i think you need a break. take some time for yourself. go walk around walmart or something. have your fiance watch the baby. we try to give me a break from the house and family every once in a while and it helps. it gives you a chance to miss them and gives them the chance to miss you.
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 4:02 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Hmm, hard to know without more information. I'd say in any relationship, though, most problems are caused by lack of communication. But if you're getting frustrated with both of them maybe it's because you're expecting things of them they're not doing? The best thing to do is communicate your expectations to both of them. If you need your fiance's help with the baby, let him know exactly what you need from him. For the 12 mo, how do you not lose patience (lol) and it may only get harder in the next year of two... but try to take a deep breath, take care of YOURSELF (great advice SThompson21) and you'll be in a good position to take care of the baby. Try to give yourself little moments where you can just enjoy your family -- forget housework, running errands, etc. All of you sit around together, try not to say "no" to the baby, and just smile. Sometimes these moments can be enough to get you through the day.
    EmilySusan

    Answer by EmilySusan at 4:10 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • hah when you figure it out let me know!
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 4:17 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I feel overwhelmed at times with my family too. What I try my best to think about is that someday I will look back on this and wish I didn't get so upset over stupid things. Life is too short to spend it being mad about the little stuff. Think about other families who have REAL problems, illness, death, there are so many awful things that can happen - think of those people and how they would give ANYTHING to be as lucky as you are. I totally understand getting fed up with a baby and fiance, trust me, but I think if you can take some deep breaths and think about what I wrote above it might help. I hope it does! Good luck!
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 4:17 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • All I can recommend is, make sure you make time for YOU! LOL That's how I keep it together. The patience thing will just come with time and trial, momma. When something gets your goat and you find your temper fuse shortening, just take a breather. And TALK. Make sure your fiance knows what you expect, and make sure you keep him in the loop. Also, Stepmom929 takes it all home with her answer...somebody always has it harder, worse, and more stressful. Counting your blessings definitely helps.
    LadyNicole

    Answer by LadyNicole at 5:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I try taking a long shower [even if you dont need it!] it gives you time for yourself to chill out a little.... having a toddler and a fiance is frustrating sometimes! [i know!!] i just have to take a step back and take a minute for myself. =]
    gottalovemyboys

    Answer by gottalovemyboys at 7:54 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • You are not alone. I often lose patience for my husband. I seem to gain more with my kids some how. It is hard to find time for yourself, but it is the best stress reliever. If you are unable to get away by yourself, try guided imagery. It is proven to help release stress. Good luck and let me know what worked for you. Maybe I will have to try it.
    Brandy.
    brandy287

    Answer by brandy287 at 8:02 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • take a break and if you ever feel overwhelmed close your eyes count to ten and take deep breaths this works trust me
    111807mom

    Answer by 111807mom at 8:26 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • As many of the moms here have already stated, some "me" time on a regular basis and open communication with your fiance are key to helping you be a better mommy and have a better relationship.
    twinclubmom

    Answer by twinclubmom at 8:28 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Your best bet is to work on why everyone is cranky in the first place. If your daughter is bored and that is why she's crying maybe try some new activites with her that will calm you both and get you some peace of mind. Coloring books and crayons work wonders. Make sure to give her a little more at snack time so she doesn't get hungry and cranky. Make sure that nap time happens so you get a break and she isn't grumpy from being sleepy! And by all means take time to pamper yourself! You sound stressed out and you'd be amazed by making time for one long bubble bath a day would do for you! Good luck! It'll all work out!
    usbornebooksdh

    Answer by usbornebooksdh at 1:21 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

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