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I was in a 13 year relationship, never married, and now am having his baby and living in another state. Can he possibly petition a court for custody? Can he take my baby from me even part-time?

child custody problem with father in Virginia and mom in Kansas

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Mar. 2, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (8)
  • he can take you to court to get visitation yes. just because you werent married doesnt mean nothing its still his baby.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 6:44 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • He has a right to his child - as any parent does. I believe that he will have to come to your home state though, since that's where you (and the baby) live.
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 6:45 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I'm pretty sure he can unless you can proove he is an unfit parent and that is next to impossible to do. He could never get full custody unless he proved you unfit, but it is the Father and the courts will rule he deserves time with the child as well. Good Luck.
    happyathomemum

    Answer by happyathomemum at 6:45 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • I know this isn't what you want to hear ... As long as he is the father, he can petition for EITHER visitation or custody. That's assuming he's not abusive, a drug user etc. But if he could conceivably be considered a fit parent then yes, he can go into family court and ask for access to the child - and I hate to tell you this, but if you deny him visitation after a court orders it, you could lose custody by default. So I would get a lawer if he is going to take you to court even for visits.
    cat0325

    Answer by cat0325 at 6:48 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • To add to my question... I don't want to keep him from his child. I just don't want it to be about fighting and courts and money neither of us have. I also have a real aversion to him putting a new baby on a plane. I grew up that way after my parents divorced and it destroyed me childhood... always traveling back and forth for summers and spring break and never really having the normal summer fun with friends I knew from school... always a new group of kids in the state where my other parent lived. I am trying not to project my experience onto my child, but I just don't think raising a child in two states is feasible or realistic. Plus, there's the whole 5 months of my pregnancy he called me every name in the book and tried to make me lose the baby... I don't understand why now he can have a 'change of heart' and affect our lives like this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • Depending on state laws.. He can take you to court, he can get visitation, and if he wanted to he could have the court make you move closer to him..
    Poopie08

    Answer by Poopie08 at 8:08 PM on Mar. 2, 2009

  • When I worked for an attorney, I did a lot with custody and child support. At least in our state visitations with infants were done with the mother present because of feeding and caring for the infant. There were no overnights until the children were several years old and then there were short overnights. Honestly, unless he proves you are unfit, I would think the best he could get would be joint-custody (both parents making the decisions) with you having custodial rights (the child living with you).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • i am dealing with this myself. the jurisdiction is in ur homestate. he would get visitations. but most likely he would probably have to come to u first. and because the baby is so young i don;t think u would have to worry about planes that young yet. that doesn;t really occur until school age. i am presuming. i think after u are in the system. u are always in it. its a constant back and forth to court because as the child grows and changes so does the circumstance.. i have no experience in this but i am dealing with a similar situation. good luck.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 11:14 PM on Dec. 13, 2009

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