Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I force her to spend time alone?

Force may be a harsh word, but my 18 month old daughter is up my rear end constantly. Untill last week she prefered to play alone in her room, and would come out frequently to show me stuff or eat and drink, but never had been one to want to stay in my lap all day long. I can't even clean/do laundry and just have her right there with me, I have to have her in my lap, and I am 6 months pregnant so my lap is getting pretty crowded. And I have a family of 5 so me sitting around doing nothing doensn't cut it either. She is only like this till her brothers and her dad get home then she is back to her self. Is she doing this because I give in to her? Or should I encourage her to play alone again even if I am the only one here and just ignore her. Nothing has changed in the house or her routine. She's not sick. I am geting to the point that I am putting her down for a nap early just to be able to go to the bathroom without company

 
AK_aries

Asked by AK_aries at 9:18 AM on Mar. 3, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • the fullness of your lap may be the reason. She was the baby and now with you getting farther along in your pregnancy, it is becoming more real to her that she will soon not be the baby anymore. I would probably just guess its a little jealousy or worry that she isn't going to get the attention she wants from you that she is used to getting. i would try to give her as much attention as you can. But when you have to use the restroom, or are doing laundry, cleaning, etc. set some boundaries. And try letting her help you with doing household things if you can. I know that 18 months she may not be able to do very much. But hopefully this will help her see that she can be a big help, still get mommy attention, etc.

    hope this helps!
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:33 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Kids are much smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. I am sure she senses that another baby is coming and wants to spend time with you. I am amazed that she plays in her room alone most of the day at her age. I wouldn't worry about spoiling her. And when the new baby comes she can just help with the baby. I would indulge it and savor the moments.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • maybe she needs mommy time. my little boy will go through stuff like that. good luck momma. try getting her to color pictures for you
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 9:30 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Give her concrete times that mommy can play/ cuddle. For example tell her after I do the dishes we can play, after lunch we will cuddle before nap, etc...When she comes to you rephrase telling her to wait into the yes first "Yes we can play blocks after I finish...you go get ready for me"
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:30 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • She probly realizing your growing belly! Instead of sitting dwn with her, go in her room an stay for a few min to be with her instead of her wanting to be with you, go back in a few so she knows you want to be around her more like shes wanting to be with you more, that will get her out of your lap an you can move around more freely!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Well I think she obviously knows something is changing, you are pregnant and she senses that. You can definitely put her down and do some house work, or hold off on that stuff till your older kids get home. I'm not sure, I guess I'm not much help. i would give her some toys in the living room or whatever room you need to be in and tell her to play in her room or with those toys while you do whatever cleaning you have to do.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 9:32 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • She may be a stage when she notices the world around her more. She may notice that when the rest of the family is around that she doesn't get the same attention that she gets when you and she are alone. Their minds work very fast at that age. Maybe it is that she has discovered that sometimes people are there and sometimes they aren't. Maybe this worries her. Hard to say. Meanwhile, unless it is just plain unsafe, I'd suggest letting her play wherever you are, so that she has that reassurance that you aren't going to vanish. Also important is that when others in the family, or a sitter, are around, that you do leave for shorter then longer times, so that she learns that you will say goodbye when you leave (you won't just vanish) and you will come back. I am thinking this because when you leave to have your baby that it should not be a shock that you suddenly aren't there.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:38 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Thanks ladies, I have been giving her my undivided attention from right after I fix her breakfast, to when she goes down for a nap. I just feel so mean if I have to get up to answer the door, or go to switch laundry over to the dryer she just screams at me, but not like throwing a fit, like desperate don't leave me screaming. I do always talk to her the whole time, you know, momy's right here, she can always see me (but on the other side of the gate) But it makes sense that she knows something is going on, I just didn't see that side of it at first. She is still so young I didn't think she would comprehend until the baby got here.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 9:40 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN