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Teen girls and grooming habits?

My 14 yr old SD lives with us full time and I do 99% of the shopping so before anyone says anything - yes I'd be the one purchasing these items. Even though we've had several girl to girl talks about hygiene nothing is working. She doesn't tell me when she's out of deodorant, razors, tampons, etc. Instead, she uses my stuff. If someone has used the last of the toilet paper and she goes in next - she won't get more toilet paper she just won't wipe. Periods are horrible. I find bloody underwear and pants all the time! Yes, I do make her wash her own clothes when she does that but still. She's had a period since age 11 ...why is this still an issue? Laziness? Is it the "I don't care" attitude? I am easy going person and she knows all she has to do is say "hey, I'm out of deodorant" and I'll pick some up for her. It's not a big deal. I just can't get her to say it and stop using my stuff.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Mar. 3, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • THIS BEHAVIOR WILL NOT LAST FOREVER! I PROMISE! SHE WILL EVENTUALLY BE SHAMED AND EMBARASSED BY HER PEERS FOR HER BAD HABITS!! I KNOW THAT SOUNDS HARSH BUT THAT IS THE WAY IT IS. ALSO WHEN THE "BOY" CRAZE BEGINS SHE WILL TAKE A LOT MORE WITH HER HYGIENE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • My younger sister had a problem with doing this when we were younger. I hated it I am not to sure how to break her my mom and I teamed up and took my sis on with this problem. Because I am not selfish, we just ended up locking up our things and she got the clue after a few to tell when she ran out of stuff.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Lock your things up. When she doesn't have access to any thing of necessity, she'll ask..Don't make her wash her bloody underwear, she'll just resent you more. Leave her clothes alone..she'll either do it herself or ask for help. It's laziness on her part and taking everything for granted. It's time for some tough love.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • she might be embarassed to "bother" you with her deals. She might not feel comfortable asking you for things. Just keep a stock of it and keep an eye on it if you don't want her useing your stuff. She is at that age to be defiant too though so beware. Maybe have her dad talk to her.
    but she sounds lazy to me I was a hygiene freak and still am lol
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 12:19 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Do you ask her before you go to the store if there is anything she needs? That might help..
    SandraB383

    Answer by SandraB383 at 12:26 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Ive always been a clean person. but teens can be forgetful & stuff like that just arent at the top of our brain all the time. When my mom would go to the grocery store she would always ask me if there was anything I needed & sometimes that would help the lightbulb in my head go off..
    So maybe when you run to the store once a week (or how ever often you shop) ask her if she needs more deodorant or tampons..
    Now we keep a list on the fridge & whenever we run out of something we automatically put it on the list. maybe that is an idea.
    if she is having problems with bloddy undies & pants, maybe she should wear liners, and also someone may need to talk to her about the importance of changing her tampon often or she could get sick.
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 12:28 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Maybe she is depressed? Maybe she is uncomfortable around you, maybe she wishes she lived with her mom.
    I lived with my dad and stepmom as a teen. I hated it. I resented that I had to go through that important time in my life with another woman, not my mom. My mom was not able to care for my sister and I financially or mentally, so we had no choice. I never neglected my hygeine, but I did act out in other ways. I had always been a straight A student, but I started purposly failing. I stopped trying to be social (which wasnt hard because I had to switch schools districts to live with my dad, I purposly didnt make friends) I just wanted my mom, as immature as that sounds.
    I had alot of resentment towards my stepmom, but I am an adult now and I love her <3
    Try having a heart to heart talk with her. It is hard to be in a divorced family.
    isra1986

    Answer by isra1986 at 12:30 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I do ask her before I go to the store. She says no and puts her head down. I know she is embarrassed - especially about the tampons. I use to be too. But I personally think it's more embarrassing walking around school with a big red stain in the back of your pants. (That happened last week and she had to borrow pants from the school nurse). So today I did a walk-through of the bathroom to see what we needed (it was pay day anyway) and bought stuff I know she needs. So it's done. But I'd like this to not be an issue anymore. Oh and about a month ago we did have SIL (her Aunt) talk to her. She went to nursing school so she went over what happens if you don't clean yourself properly, periods, and sharing stuff. My SD said she understood and said they talked about all of this in health class ...but something somewhere is not clicking.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU HAVE WITH YOUR SD? SHE MIGHT NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE ASKING YOU FOR THESE THINGS. WHY DON'T YOU BE THE ADULT AND JUST KEEP A SUPPLY FOR HER TO USE...HOW MUCH COULD DEODERANT AND TAMPONS COST? REALLY IS IT SUCH A BIG THING?! SHE WILL EVENTUALLY TAKE BETTER CARE WITH HER HYGEINE...SHE IS STILL PRACTICALY A CHILD. HELP HER OUT!
    sweetheartpink

    Answer by sweetheartpink at 12:40 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • sweetheartpink - did you read my reply? Probably not. We have a GREAT relationship. I am only 14 yrs older than she is. She always tells me Im the "cool" one. She says I'm better than her friends step moms because I do things with her. We talk about everything from the boy she is crushing on to how her friends said they liked her new clothes. Every time she comes home from school she has a big long story for me. She could go on for hours about some boy (or the Jonas Brothers lol) but when it comes to this topic...she clams up. Sorry for not having LOADS of experience with a teenager. I've only been in the picture for 2 years so this is VERY new. I'm think I'm doing pretty good considering I am the ONLY one doing anything (her other family is not involved what so ever).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Mar. 3, 2009