Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

problems with ex wife and step son

well,i just would like to ask any woman who want to marry man with children and ex wife please think ten times befor you put yourself in fire.because is so hard and stressing a lot.my problem i got married man with his 10 years old son and ex wife is hell,she is very jealousy,speak very rood to me and my husband,making problems trying to destroy our marriage,telling him to leave me because her son doesn`t like me,the boy his very very nasty you can`t imagine,jealousy killing him as well,speak very nasty to me want to control us as his mom.but i am nice person but i will never let anyone to treat me like this so please you think what i am going to do is wrong or right,if i just let it going without doing anything they are going to eat me alive and destroy my feeling,i am especting baby soon and this will ore difficulth as now.your advice welcome thanks

Answer Question
 
louiza

Asked by louiza at 12:33 PM on Mar. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • If your husband knows about this, he is the one who needs to put a stop to it. It won't matter what you say to the ex and the kid, they hate you anyway. Your husband needs to teach his son to respect you. i know the kid is being taught to hate you by the mom, but if his dad talks with him and tells him that his mom is just angry and is taking it out on you and if he keeps correcting him EVERY time the child is disrespectful, hopefully it will sink in. Your husband should tell the ex that she needs to stop, that he loves YOU, and won't leave you, and she is just making herself, and more importantly, her son, miserable. Good luck.
    GMR

    Answer by GMR at 12:59 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • WOW!! I am sorry you have to deal with this situation. I, too married to a man with a child, however, my situation is a little different than yours. My dh never married to the baby mom. She is upright jealous and a low life. Thank god my stepson is very well behaved and he likes me very much no matter what his mom may speak of me. My dh would not allow my stepson or his bm to be disrespectful to me in any manners. Oh the woman has tried to speak ill of me but my dh let her know straight up to never disrespect me again.
    You might want to sit down and talk to your husband. I hope he will understand how hard it's on you to deal with this situation. If he is a stand up man, on your behalf, it will be easier on you to deal with it. It is up to your husband to enforce those rules and demand his son to respect you. WHile your husband has no control of the ex-wife, but he can control his son. GL to you
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 1:15 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • PS, dont let this woman get to you. You already know why she is doing it...JEALOUSY!!
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 1:22 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Hang in there stay out of their way, yes it sucks big time (I am in the same boat) I have learned to just keep my distance and if she tries to talk to you just make it quick don't try to be buddy buddy with her it is all fake (not all woman are like this) and never get in the middle of it let your dh and her and their son take care of the problems. You know and I know when we met these men they had kids but damn at the time you are not thinking that you just love the way things are going so we just go with the flow but some how that wears out alittle it is up to us stepmoms to not let the ex witch get to us. They love it when they see us down so don't show her anything negative.

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:27 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Thank you all of you for your opinions.well,i tryed to control myself but is just doesn`t work,because first my husband make me more ungry then they do because he doesn`t know how to defend himself or me or stand up,he is so sweet that you can`t beleive it.i need to tell him to say and even i said this he doesn`t do it,he told her that i am ready to leave him because of his son problem and i went to hospital because of this stress,anyway,right now keep telling him leave her and she is not good for you,you make mistake,....he can stop her because she is very bad woman,she divorce my husband and went with her boyfriend ,she destryed his family because the man married and has children,she is comming from very low family,and more to tell about her,i am too much for her,but my husband when she attacted him he doesn`t remind her with her past and when i asked why dn`t you say this or that his answer always i don`t care just let her
    louiza

    Answer by louiza at 1:44 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • talk,he is very quite,calm,doesn`t buther him at all but me i get ungry and upset with him about the way he is talking,sometimes i feel he is afraid of her,he gets nervous when he saw her,she is completly controled him,even divorce happen 5 years,i guess he is afraid ....why?please can i get answer.?
    louiza

    Answer by louiza at 1:47 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Be very careful. Remember that 11 yr old in the news just shot and killed his dad's pregnant girlfriend over jealousy. You and the mom need to work this out so the boy will remain calm with you. He might even resent the baby and hurt it. Please stay safe and don't push his buttons.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:40 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • You are ready to leave hubby because of his kid? Wow uh that's a bit harsh. Maybe you should have thought all this over before jumping into the marriage and starting a family with a man that had a family already. Try therapy (FAMILY therapy) which includes HIS son too!
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:22 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.