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How would you bring this up......................

How would you bring this up..................
I was being nosy today and checking out my husbands favorite forum, where he posts often. There was a clip someone put on there and of a 15 year old teen girl getting a beating from cops. His responses were.........

"Maybe the bitch can learn some respect from this. Probably the wrong response from the cops. But I'm sure she won't mouth off to the cops next time."

And then this furthering someone calling him out for defending the Police -

"I guess that was me. You clearly don't know many teenagers these days. I'd beat every single of them to death if I could."

I don't get this, this is not who he is. How do I approach this with him as it clearly is disturbing to me. He is step to one teen and father to 9 year old. As a parent saying this, and him being step to my teenage boy for the past 11 years. WTH?

Answer Question

Asked by TamaraKay at 1:26 PM on Mar. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • I'd ask him if he was just 'talking big' to be impressive online (as many do) or if he has some issues/problems with your son that he's been reluctent to talk to you about - cause if so; now would be a really good time to clear the air!

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 1:29 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I'm not sure I would bring it up. If he hasn't been violent in your home then your bigger arguement will be why were you looking at his posts. Alot of people say things on forums they wouldn't really say in public or to friends and family. CafeMom is a great example of that.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:31 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • How about saying something like this: "I read something today that I found pretty upsetting, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions until you have told me what your thinking and feelings were when you wrote this. What I read is not consistent with the man I've always known you to be, and I would like you to bridge that gap for me." Then ask him about each specific statement that bothers you, and let him tell you what he was really thinking or feeling when he made that statement. Approach it entirely from an "I need information" status rather than one where you are accusing him of anything or expressing outrage or disappointment or any other negative statement. You are simply asking for more information than you currently have.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:34 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I would just bring it up casualy , like I saw your post today, whats with....

    Answer by NicholeAT at 1:34 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • People say a lot of stuff online they don't really mean.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 2:03 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Oh,you posted this in another category too and I answered there but I'll just say here to ask your children if he's ever said or done anything abusive to them. He may have and even threatened them to keep quiet. Silent abusers do that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:14 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I'd hit him with the frying pan. Mine's all cast iron!
    I'd also be filing for divorce and I'd use that online statement against him. I don't play around with threats on life. There is no way I couldn't take what he said personal and I'd beat a dead horse making sure he understood that he lumped his ss and his own kid into what he said as well.

    If he was trying to act the big tough man online...its high time for him to learn online does not mean it's not public or anonymous. There are consequences for careless words.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 2:22 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Hey, sometimes those kids do deserve what they get from the police! It sounds like to me that he was commenting on the general state of teenagers that have no respect for authority and how they deserve what they get. It doesn't sound like hes violent or doesn't like teenagers. Especially if you've never had any questions about his parenting and/or moral values before this time. I think hes venting about society's lack of respect for civil servants and how we let criminals manipulate the system just b/c they are young (or were abused or poor or whatever crybaby crap they throw out nowadays)

    And I'm actually pretty liberal, but I have big love for the majority of our police officers and they take a lot of crap that they shouldn't have to b/c of how people raise (or don't) their kids today!

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 3:36 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Men are stupid and people say stuff online with their alter ego. I would bring it up to him and let him know that it bothered you. I got pissed when I found out my hubs had an abusive video of homeless people.(bum fights) He said someone bought it for him and he threw it away.

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:36 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • i'd be packing. yeah, i say some kid/teens need to be have some sense smacked into them but i don't think anyone who could say they wanted to kill kids/teens should be able to call themselves a parent.

    Answer by chyna_doll at 5:32 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

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