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Help! Any kind for my 14-year old nephew! Please!!!!!!

I love my 1st born nephew. He's 14. His mom has had several men around him. And his grandma, who has passed, was his nanna, the closest person to him. He shut down, devastated. And everything is becoming worse. Are there mentor groups or help just for young men? I'm losing my nephew and I know he has a lack of respect for women b/c of his mother's actions. He has a sister who his mother favors. He believes that his mom and sis don't like him. He's now punching and threatening his sister. As his aunt, I'm hurting for him. His dad puts his ex-wife ahead of him to the point where my nephew has never been allowed to spend the night b/c they're still living 2gether and the ex-wife opposes. Pls offer positive suggestions as I'm requesting helpful resources. If nothing positive to say, pls go away.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Mar. 3, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • Check into the boys and girls club, Teammates mentoring, or Big brothers/Little sisters mentoring programs. There are lot of services out there. You might want to talk to his school as well. They will have direct resources that deal with their school to help him as well. He may want to go and speak to his counselor at school too. They can refer him to places and people who can help in this situation. If they do some testing, he may qualify for free services as well. Good luck! He's very lucky to have an aunt who cares !!!

    Answer by Samanthasmom210 at 2:34 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • my s/o went through something like that before w/out all the men in his life. his step father literally ran him over with a car and his grandparents raised him. once his grandma died he fell apart. He had nobody and ended up in the hospital for trying to kill himself. long and sad story. maybe you could offer to take him over night a few nights? tell him you are there for him, and if he needs somebody to talk to let him know you will always be there no matter what. 14 is a hard age, i know it was for me when i was that young. i hope i offered some help.. i'm so sorry to hear about the whole situtation. i wish you and him the best of luck and you are in my prayers.

    Answer by lilmama5268 at 2:34 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Alright what I say is even though he has no respect for women because of his mom, I would try to get close to him, let him know that even though the people around him don't see his light you do and let him know that he can come to you with anything and his words are safe with you. Like his grandma he need someone to show him he's appreciated and loved, and someone needs to step up before things get worse

    Answer by NicholeAT at 2:36 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Call the child's school, meet with principal or counsler find out from them about local programs in your area where you can get help. If you feel that you love this boy a whole lot then offer to have him come live with you on a trail basis. Who knows, it may be the best move of both of your lives. Good Luck.

    Answer by lizrider at 3:22 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • There is Big Brothers/Big Sisters Organization. You can also check with the school about a mentoring program in the area. My son had a mentor through a local business association and he had a Big from Big Brothers/Big Sisters. Start there. It also sounds like he may need some counseling before he really hurts his sister.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:26 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • All of you ladies rock! Thank you sooooo much. I truly, truly love my nephew. I've already phoned the Boys and Girls club to gather some info. I called his mom just now so excited to share all the resources shared with me. In my research all the programs look amazing...I'm actually pondering becoming a mentor myself :) I told her that me and her other sis expect her to make the calls and do the work on tomorrow. We'll see how it goes. Thank you all!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I'm sure this young man thinks he's lost his world with nanna gone. Ask the school counselor if they offer grief counseling to students or know where he could go for some mentoring group. Bless his heart. Give him a hug for me. being 14 isn't easy as it is.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:06 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Visit the website

    See if there is anything there that could help you or your nephew. I've heard really good things about Boys Town in Omaha, NE.

    Answer by Dyndudes at 5:31 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I would look at Boys and Girls Club, Boy Scouts, Venture Scouts (can be co-ed, ran by BSA, and for 14 and up), a sports program of some sort, Big Brothers / Big Sisters, or 4H (they aren't all about animals, they have LOTS of various interest groups).

    I would also maybe call the school and ask if they have any after school organizations they recommend. If you tell them that you understand that they can't talk to you about him, specifically, but that you're concerned and you were hoping that they could suggest, in a non specific to your nephew way, organizations in your area for teens needing a positive influence.

    Something to note though -we do Scouting in our family, I'm a big supporter of it, but just like everything else - there are good Troops (or specific groups), and there's bad ones. If you try one, and it's not what you want or need, try another, they have a lot of leeway for their individual programs.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:29 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

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