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I need ur honest opinion! My sis and I have undeniable sibling rivalry. She has 2 kids and I've been tryin' to conceive for about 9yrs. now. My DH and her nearly hate eachother.

She has 2 kids and I've been tryin' to conceive for about 9yrs. now. My DH and her nearly hate eachother . For the past yr. she has been using my DH's mom to watch her kids. My sis is a SAHM but if she needs to do something like foodshop she uses her. Recently she's been using her very often and my MIL refuses pay and loves kids therefore loves my sis's kids. I recently found out that they even went food shopping together. When I called my MIL the other day, she mistaked our voices and called me by my sis' name. I'm beginning to get increasingly jealous at their relationship and I think my sis knows this. In fact I think she likes my discomfort. So everytime we have a gettogether my sis is like "GREAT! My babysitter's here!" and drops the baby on her lap 4ever. My DH doesn't know the high frequency that my sis is using his mom as a sitter. I feel my sis is playing jealousy games and intruding in my fam. circle.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Mar. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I'm confused as to why she is so close with your MIL in the first place? Where her/your mom or the kids' dad's mom? I know a lot of other posters on here aren't understanding why you would be upset, but my BIL and his wife are always trying to play "catch up" with hubby and me and it gets very annoying! On one level, i would say that its bothering you b/c of your issues with concieving....but, it also sounds like your sis is trying to replace your role with your MIL and using her kids as leverage....(hey MIL that isn't mine...i've got kids that you can spoil since my sister can't give you what you want in a family!) So, i see how the situation can be very upsetting to you...especially since DH doesn't like your sis.... Just open up a dialogue with your MIL and let it all out...shes a grown woman and can make her own choices, but at least she'll know how you feel. Good luck with everything!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 3:21 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Sorry, ran out of space. Should we tell my MIL how much my sis and DH hate eachother? She is very loyal to her son and this will stop her and my sis' relationship. Do u think my sis is being a hypocrit? Would you say she is playing games?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • How sad. I'd think it would be nice to have such a close-knit family. Why are you so hostile and jealous? I mean, it does sound like she's not completely innocent here, either. But you can't change her. What you can change is your attitude about this. Is it somehow hurting you or taking something away from you that your sis uses your MIL to babysit? Obviously, your MIL is willing, so why is this such a problem? The jealousy isn't her fault, hon, it's yours. But that's good news, really. You own it, and you can change it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Why does your DH hate her so much?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Honestly, I don't see what any of this has to do with you. Your sister wants a babysitter, you MIL obviously enjoys being the babysitter..... so, trying to put a stop to it would probably only end up hurting the kids. If she watches them as much as you say, they've surely created a bond.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 3:03 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I honestly think it's none of your business. What they have works and as long as they are both happy with their arrangement, stay out of it. You would just be starting trouble. So what if you are jealous that she has children and you don't. She isn't the reason you don't have kids. Why would you want to go in and rip them apart like that? That's just cruel and juvenile. I think you should mind your own business and keep your mouth shut.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • My DH dislikes her because she watches his every move. Ex. we go to the same church and all she can do is complain that she doesn't believe my DH is serious about church and why doesn't he stand up on q. etc. If he shakes peoples hands she rolls her eyes and calls him a fake. It's ridiculous. She's the only person in the fam. who doesn't like my DH. Her DH doesn't go to church with her or do much at all with her. So, she criticizes my DH's every move. Yet she asks his mom to watch her kids all the time. I went to a fam. party w/ my MIL this weekend and she pulled her away from me to give her the baby. My MIL had the baby the whole time and even put her to sleep. She went around socializing and left the baby to my MIL. I believe she wants to make me jealous. She's done this kinda thing to others before. For example talking to my other sisters X behind her back and telling him all of her dirt when they were together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • If MIL doesn't mind then what's the problem?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:40 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • First of all, tell her she forgot her nametag that had God written on it when she came to church so she cannot judge your hubby. Seriously, the pastor may need to intervene on that one, that is very ungodly, that is mean.

    Second of all, you could mention to MIL how you feel about her babysitting but it may turn on you. She may just think you are so jealous that you have to say mean things. WHo knows? Maybe your sis feels you don't love/respect her. Can you tell her you love her and you want her to stop riding your hubby down the road about fictional complaints. Do this in private and nicely. Good luck.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 3:58 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • both you and your sister need to GROW up IMO... seriously! How old are you? 4?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Mar. 4, 2009