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Have you every felt like you didn't LIKE one of your children?

I mean, I love her to pieces - I really do. She's only 4 years old but she is just not very nice. I have two other daughters (7 and 2) and they are both fairly normal with sweet dispositions. But my 4 year old is hateful, she likes to hurt her sisters and laugh about it, she likes to argue with me, she doesn't seem to be phased one bit no matter how much trouble she gets in, she does things to irritate her older sister on purpose, she yells at her daddy, she constantly does things I've told her not to do a thousand times. I just sometimes can't hardly stand her. She is just really mean. I don't know what to do.
Please don't say I'm a horrible person, just leave a comment if you think you can help or shed some light on my struggle.
Thank you.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Mar. 3, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • Maybe she feels like she does not get enough she is lashing out and getting it herself. She is also a middle child I was a middle child and always acted out just to get my parents to notice me. I mean all in all she may grow out of it if you discipline her and show her attention. I don't think you are horrible, but open your eyes and see she is just wanting attention. Have a day where is you her and daddy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I have seen friends go through this feeling with their children. Sometimes our children have such their own personalities that can really conflict with our own. I would just try to correct her behavior and encourage her strengths. If she has a nice moment, make a big deal of it and tell her how happy and proud of her you are. When she acts out explain to her that she is not going to disrupt the family and her behavior is not tolerant. Put her in timeout when she acts out.

    You may not like her, but you love her and love her enough to correct her behavior.

    Answer by TamaraKay at 3:08 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I know people are going to bash us, but I feel that way sometimes too. My daughter is like that most days, unless she's sick. I love her very much but I find it hard to be around her sometimes because she can be so mean and hateful. She flat out doesn't listen or care that she's hurting anyone else. She only cares about herself. My daughter steals, lies, throws tantrums, yells in public places, hurts people, or annoys people, etc.

    Since my daughter was adopted out of foster care, she qualifies for therapy. That is the only thing that helps us. I highly recommend it. See if you can get a good therapist for both of you. Also, focus only on the positives. Even if the whole day is bad, try to think of one thing positive she did that day, and tell her about it. It will help you too. And when all else fails, hold her and tell her you love her, even if she's ruined your entire day. She just might need it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I think that's normal, seriously. My mom has told me we went through phases in which she didn't like us. She always loved us. But sometimes we went through phases in which our attitudes, behavior or whatever were just unbearable. Just be tough, mama. DISCIPLINE. She'll come through it. My mom likes to say, "You reap what you sow". Discipline can be tough and you may feel guilty. But if the result is a happy, healthy, morally fit child- sounds good to me. Good luck.

    Answer by sfwilson at 3:12 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I have at least one or two who could be that way. I will say this for you and her. I had to do this and it sounds NUTS but when they were so mean, I'd pick them up where they could not hit me or get away and I would HUG them and say to them, 'I AM GONNA HUG AND LOVE THAT MEANNESS RIGHT OUT OF YOU!' It may take a few times. Usually they would start laughing. She may be unphased by it or she may get the attn she needs and you will have hugged her and maybe some glimpse of sweetness will come out. Good Luck.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 3:48 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Not all children are the same, and sometimes the parent's personality clashes with the child's. I have a boy that drives me crazy. This is what I do. Give him complements about all the positive things about him. Don't dwell on the negative. Continue teaching him the rules and good behavior. I think if you keep saying she is horrible, she might live up to that.

    Answer by momo8child at 2:48 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

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