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Have you every felt like you didn't LIKE one of your children?

I mean, I love her to pieces - I really do. She's only 4 years old but she is just not very nice. I have two other daughters (7 and 2) and they are both fairly normal with sweet dispositions. But my 4 year old is hateful, she likes to hurt her sisters and laugh about it, she likes to argue with me, she doesn't seem to be phased one bit no matter how much trouble she gets in, she does things to irritate her older sister on purpose, she yells at her daddy, she constantly does things I've told her not to do a thousand times. I just sometimes can't hardly stand her. She is just really mean. I don't know what to do.
Please don't say I'm a horrible person, just leave a comment if you think you can help or shed some light on my struggle.
Thank you.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Mar. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • We have all had moments of thinking "what was I thinking". If someone here says they havent.......they are kidding themselves.

    I do have to tell you this from experience. Kids are very perspective. They know they just do, when they have to fight for attention. A middle child has to kick and fight alot of times. We also sometimes have kids that just need alittle more attention and love. Im not saying to show favortism. Just try your hardest to help the middle child to feel equal. She know's trust me.......that you have these feelings. She can feel it.

    Sit down with your little girl once a day. HOld her on your lap, read her a book, play a quick game. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her the truth. That being mean to her sisters is making you really sad. Ask her why she does this. Make a happy chart. Everytime she is good acknowledge it. Even if its just a cheer and clapping your hands!
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 3:55 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • She reminds me of my daughter. Finally after struggling for a long long time I went to laddering punishment, my own word for it. When she does something wrong she gets punishmed in a certain way for a certain length of time. If during that time the wrong is repeated exactly or a new wrong occurs she receives a new punishment for a specific longer length of time. When this laddering is kept for a bit after a wrong or wrongs on top of each other, she's become better behaved for longer lengths of time. Punishment is loss of a tv show or shows for x long or loss of a tv show and then a personal item (my daughter is teen) or what ever type of punishment first that fits the crime and then if a second wrong or a third wrong the punishment is both item lost and age appropriate with followup responsibility - apology, righting wrong. I explain she's alllowed her feelings but not bad actions to that depth she's done them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Usually when a child is acting out it is because of some underlying issue...not usually just because they like being bad. One of my co-workers had the same problem. Her youngest son was just HORRIBLE. Constantly saying No to everything, throwing tantrums and beating up on his older brother. She sat him down and told him she loved him and that she knows he is a good boy but he needs to start behaving better because he's hurting her feelings. Within a few days the tantrums completely stopped and he is now the sweetest little angel in the whole world! I think he just needed some personalized attention and 1 on 1 time with her to just feel reassured. Try it! It couldn't hurt.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 4:05 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • 3:01 pm anony here...you're daughter is your middle, mine my youngest. But both are wanting attention but need that constant guidance. Mine wants to DRIVE NOW wants all decisions to be her own, as old as a young teen she is her mind and body are not adult. Two older kids have proven the importance of growing age appropriate not emotion appropriate. Try the ladder punishment but you've got to keep it up. Kids just learn that their smile, their giggle or beauitiful eyes just mush us out. Your daughter will think you're the meanest mom on earth. My son years later he's thanked me and countless times my youngest has said in conversation she's told her friends they're lucky not to be my daughter that kind of behavior, whatever quite quite bad they've done, would require responsibility to own up to it and take care of it and punishment for doing it.
    My middle daughter is 'normal' and easier than other 2.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • I'm also guilty of having the "I love you but I don't really like you right now" moments. I'm sorry you're going through this. There might be some other issue going on. Have you sat with her and held her and told her how much you love her? I started doing this with my son, hugging him at random moments and saying I Love you. At first he would get this surprised look on his face when I would hug him for no reason but now he's the one who initiates to the hugging! Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Is it possible she has adhd or something similar? My daughter was and still is at times like that. It isn't her fault but at the same time we really have to keep on top of her. 1 2 3 magic works really well too. Hope you all the best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Mar. 3, 2009

  • Everyday. I love him and don't wish him anything but good in life, but he is so hard to get along with, so negative, loud, rude and disrespectful.
    tiggermom803

    Answer by tiggermom803 at 1:48 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • my 4 year old cries allllot,all the time for everything,everything.he is a weepy child,my 1 year old on the othe hand has got the sunniest personality,she laughs and dances,and bubbles on for ages,i just prefer being around her alot more than my son whose eyes fill up if you cant give him juice,this minute!now!my eyes dont light up as much when he walks into a room as they do with my youngest.it makes me sad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I have a kid that can be a real pain in the ass most of the time. I love him to death. He is my first born. I planned that pregnancy, I wanted a little boy, I adored him as a baby. I did EVERYTHING with him. But that kid now has so many bad and annoying habits, drives me insane. Most days I don't like him much, but I will always LOVE him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

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