even though they know adoption isn't right for them???
I'm struggling with infertility, losses, and stress. I read this forum a lot, all the while knowing that adoption wont work for us. After being a full time stepmom and having a birthmom thrown in my face at every opportunity (despite her abusive uslessness), I am not up to the struggles of being anything but just "mom" (not "amom") but A Mom p-e-r-i-o-d.
Maybe it's selfish, but when I read how important biology is to the children and to read about biological mothers' whose children are reunited as if nothing ever happened and call those biological mothers' mom too...I just can't understand it. Mom is who raises you, as a victim of a terribile biological mother I can't wrap my brain around any other idea.
So why do I keep reading this forum?
Does anyone else feel this way or felt this way once upon a time??
Answer by Kris_tin at 11:49 PM on Mar. 3, 2009
Answer by randi1978 at 12:06 AM on Mar. 4, 2009
Answer by tiggermom803 at 1:01 AM on Mar. 4, 2009
Answer by JC4everMommy at 2:41 AM on Mar. 4, 2009
Answer by MommyAddie at 4:06 AM on Mar. 4, 2009
tiggermom803 said: You can't choose how your child will react.
Thank you, Thank you! I only wish more Mothers would keep and hold that thought. It really bothers me to see Moms who want to INSIST that their children be NOTHING but happy about being adopted. They cross their arms and stomp their feet "you WILL be happy, dammit!"
We can't even be true with ourselves :(
Love your kids unconditionally. Allow them ALL their feelings. Let us be genuine, authentic, and true to our emotions. It doesnt mean we don't love you.
Answer by adopteeme at 4:12 AM on Mar. 4, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Mar. 4, 2009
Answer by ceejay1 at 11:28 AM on Mar. 4, 2009
Many people felt or feel the way you do. I myself underestimated the birth bond between my son and I before I gave him up. Check out some books written by adoptees. Anything by Betty Jean Lifton or "20 things Adopted Kids wished their Adoptive parents Knew" by Sherrie Eldridge. Go to an Adoptee support group and ask them. Do some more reading, you'll get it.
p.s. there's some adoptees that feel the same way you do too.
Answer by onethentwins at 12:49 PM on Mar. 4, 2009
Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 1:44 PM on Mar. 4, 2009