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DEAD BEAT DAD HELP OPINIONS WANTED!!!!!!!!

If you had a deadbeat dad for 10 years would you let him sign his rights away if the child wants nothing to do with him? He is willing to do this because that is what she wants. Ga law states that at 13 a child can make that choice on there own, and that is 3 years from now. I don't want her to "hate" me for not doing what she wants. I am afraid he will change his mind when he gets the DNA results cause he is detrermined she is not his. I went to get the results in person and the verdict was 99.10%. I need help, advice, and opinions quick before he gets results because I need to think. HELP!!!!!!!!!

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tifanishelby

Asked by tifanishelby at 9:24 AM on Mar. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I say there is always room for improvement, at 10 she only know whats there if he hasnt been thats his mistake. Right or no rights Its not emoitionaly fair to keep a parent or child from one anouther, but chioces one makes are sometimes for the wrong reasons. Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I think this is the wrong decision to make. I cannot see how a child at 13 should be able to make such a decision in GA or any other state. I mean, if they can't connect there is little you will be able to do about it.

    i would leave well enough alone. But let me say this, He is the adult and needs to make the effort to want to see her, you cannot force the two together and neither can he. After 10 years it might be too late to establish a loving father-daughter bond, but thats not to say they cannot have some sort of casual relationship, but that is easier said than done.
    lilmizmoore1127

    Answer by lilmizmoore1127 at 10:15 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Coming from a similar situation I have decided to leave it alone.. My ex hasn't seen our son for 7 years, by his choice, not mine. I didn't have to go thru a paternity test, but he has been paying child support for the past 7 years. It was a toss up, either let him stop paying and sign away his rights, and my Hubby will adopt him, or let him keep paying and give him the oppurtunity to try to be a father to our son.. It's up to him at this point anyway. I have tried for years and I give up. If my son comes to me at 15, 16 w/e I will do what I can to help him find his Dad, he hasnt asked yet so I don't push it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • My Son's "sperm donor" has written off my Son for 7 1/2 years now. I am married to a wonderful man that my Son calls Dad. It's the first time I have ever heard him say it and it's music to my ears. The dead beat is going to sign over rights and my Hubby is adopting him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Anon 10:04...are you and I the same person lol...My son turned 7 in October...his dad has not been around at all since he was like 6 months old...i met my husband when my son was 8 months old...and he has always known him as dad...I wish my ex would sign his rights away but he wont because he knows I want him to...but he hasnt had anything to do with my son for over 6 1/2 years so I think I can have a judge terminate his rights...so my husband can adopt him.
    Briyawna

    Answer by Briyawna at 11:13 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • thank you all for your advice I just think and feel that if you are not going to be in the childs life why have rights if your not going to exercise them. I would not want to give someone money if I am never going to see the child (unless court ordered). And "sperm donor" was going to sign right away to begin with til he found out she knew about him then he said if I do that then she will think I just don't care. He wouldn't have said that to begin with if he did care. But now that he knows that she is wanting him too he has changed his tune a little.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • i think at 10 yrs old she may have heard somebody say that he should sign his rights over .i would not do this that way when she gets older if she decides to be in his life then its her choice and that way if he ever wakes up one day and decides to be in her life he can .and if he choses not to see your child then thats his lost not yours
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 11:29 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Its a hard decision. I have a similar situation. My son is 15 he wants my husband now to adopt him. He has wanted it for a very long time. I haven't had the money or I would have.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I have a "Dead beat dad" as well. He tried to sign his rights over, and I got a lawyer for help. You daughter may change her mind between now and then & it's important for you to remember that if he signs his rights over he is no longer responsible for child support payments either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • ANON that wrote at 12:37pm I don't know about everywhere else but if he signs his rights away here in Ga he still is responsible for all back owed and will continue until a judge signs off on it. If my child were to be adopted then he would not longer have to pay child support.
    And for BRITME1027: She has thought a lot about this and is very open with me about it. She has said repeatadly that she wants nothing to do with him and I talked to him and her about the possibility of signing rights away. She heard it from me her own mother. I just try to let her know all possibilities of what could happen in the future. Granted 10 years of backowed support would be great right now. But with the economy he would not be able to pay that much at a time and I am not vindictive and would not want his other child to suffer so that mine was taken care of. After all I have made in this long with out any money of his I guess I could continu
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

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