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Should I tell my daughter she's a bad singer?

I know it sounds bad. However, my daughter keeps trying out for school programs and talent shows. I don't know how to break it to her that she's not a good singer. She's very talented in other ways (ie art). Maybe I should enter her in an art contest. I don't want to discourage her from doing the things she wants - I don't think that's good parenting. However, I feel like letting her continue on like this isn't good either because she may embarass herself.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Mar. 4, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (17)
  • NEVER. I had a friend in the 4th grade tell me I was tone deaf- I never ever again sang in front of other people. I don't even sing infront of my hubby. How sad is that? I can't get over that fear of being told I'm bad again. Instead tell her she doesn't have a soloist voice but maybe a choir voice since they blend their voices :)

    Answer by krazyash023 at 10:40 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Just super praise the good!!!


    Answer by chefjen at 10:42 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Not tell her she a bad singer.Just point her in a different way.Like that art thing your talking about.Never tell her that she bad at something that would hurt her alot.I think anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • If she is really passionate about it, I suggest getting her in a choir. Not only will they blend together as krazyash said, but they will do voice training excersizes and she will learn pitch and control and become a better singer!

    Answer by SamanthaAgain at 10:44 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Why don't you offer her voice lessons? It's obviously something she wants to do and has a great interest in. We should always do all we can to encourage our childs interests.

    Answer by EireLass at 10:44 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I'd tell her that she has many talents and some better than others and if she'd seriously like to hone the skill of singing perhaps you could check into vocal lessons. My dd had a song in her heart but she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. By the time I decided to check into lessons she moved on to another interest. Just talk to her about talents in general and see which ones she's really interested in. If she wanted to play tennis but sucked at it, you'd get her lessons, right?

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:35 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Would you really tell her?? OMG NEVER tell her that would be crazy on your part.
    Maybe get her a karaoke machine and let her hear herself and play with it that way. If she thinks she is talented never lower her self esteem. If she is passionate about singing get her a tutor for singing lessons, if you cant afford that ask her choir teacher if she can pay some attention to her and try to give her some tips.

    Answer by momof5inohio at 12:29 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Have you recorded her singing and let her hear it? Would you prefer to let some other person tell her in a hurtful manner in front of an audience and have her be embarrassed?
    I do also think that lessons could be a good idea, after letting her know exactly why you are doing it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Bash away, but DH and I have told our dd that she cannot sing. Period. We point out the many talents she does have, like she is artistic, extremely athletic, and she gets great grades. IMO it did not hurt her self-esteem any, it may have saved it - ie from her trying to sing in front of her friends, which would be embarrassing. Ever seen American Idol? Their mammas told them they could sing too! Now she sings even worse and very loudly to dh and I just to annoy us! She thinks it is hilarious.


    Answer by WvPhotobug at 12:26 AM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I love the answer just above mine, from photobug! It sounds like you have raised really secure kids and have a lot of fun in your family. I taught elementary school music for 8 years, before schools started cutting back on funding for the arts. I also fronted a band that worked steadily for 10 years or better and continue to do so. This question intrigues me...I have often wondered if parents do consider breaking it to their kids that they "shouldnt quit their day job". I DREADED talent show time!!! And it was never so much because of "bad" singing...I just always wanted to ask parents what they were thinking letting their 9 year old sing The Love Theme from Titanic or some other such nonsense. Ok...I may be exaggerating a bit but you get my drift? Help your daughter to pick a simple, age appropriate song and it may surprise you how well it goes over. I get SO sick of hearing pre-adolescent kids singing through -->

    Answer by graciesmom164 at 12:44 AM on Mar. 5, 2009

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