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anyone else feel this way? the only thing that bothers me about some single moms...

...is the ones that pull the single mom card WHENEVER they can and don't acknowledge the help they get from their families and then act like married women never have any reason to get upset at their husbands! i've got this friend that's a single mother, but the father helps out when he's home (he's in college) and the grandparents (her parents and his parents) watch the kid at least once a weekend while she goes out. Not only that, but her new boyfriend helps out! And don't get on me about how he's living his life and she's not going to college-I'm a stay at home mom and offered to watch him-for 50 bucks a week so she could do classes. She doesn't pay rent and buys her kid pricey clothes...she could afford to pay bucks a week-especially when her parents offered to pay for her classes. I have TONS of respect for single moms out there taking care of their kids, but just bc i'm married doesn't mean i cant get mad at my DH!

 
metalhealthmama

Asked by metalhealthmama at 11:02 AM on Mar. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (14)
  • i have a friend who does the exact same thing. she is constantly asking "how am i supposed to do this as a single mom? really?" about EVERYTHING, from potty training to grocery shopping to tying shoes... its unbelievable. ive been a single mom with NO family so i know its tough, but if a lot of them spent near as much time doing it rather than whining about it they would probably be amazed at what they can accomplish. i know, been there done that!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I'm confused. You are jealous of her. I see that part but how does getting mad at your dh get in there?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • does she pull the "well, at least you're married...I'm not, boo-hoo" card? In that case, I can see getting irritated. I just wish this post was titled "Angry at my friend" or something like that because I am a single mom and this really is addressing ALL of us....like we all do it.
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 11:16 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • no, i'm not jealous. i'm annoyed because whenever i bitch about my husband she's like, well, you don't know how good you have it, at least he's around to help! but her son's father IS around, he's just not with her. i guess what it gets down to is i wish she would understand that she's lucky and she has plenty of help. its more that she doesn't get that he can help out with their son and not be with her as well, i guess. she doesn't see her son and herself as separate, she thinks he needs the whole package and i dont think that's right, she should be happy she has so much help with her son.
    metalhealthmama

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 11:16 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • mamamia, it said 'some single moms.' and in my post i said that i had tons of respect for single moms.
    metalhealthmama

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 11:17 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I know som single moms like that. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:21 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • its like she can't understand that he doesn't need to be with her, she should just be happy her son will have both parents growing up. and she also always runs her mouth about how the father's new girlfriend won't have any control over her son. well, yeah, decisions should be made by his parents, but she should be happy that his future stepmother cares about him. really, she should be happy that anyone puts up with her crap! ughh! lol.
    metalhealthmama

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 11:25 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • There's a difference between a true single mom and ones that pretend to be..... If you are getting child support , and the father is present in a positive way and the families play an active role, then you aren't a true single mom! My sister is a true single Mom, her childrens father has vanished, she works very hard to support herself and her kids, no child support, no welfare. She has earned the right to call herself a single Mom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • have you told her she is whining over nothing.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:55 AM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Anon 11:53 for the most part I agree with you. But I did work with a woman who was going at it alone and she used welfare. I didn't think any less of her because she was also raising his other child, and he and the mother of that child disappeared together. I'm not sure of all the details, but I'm pretty sure drugs or something like that were involved. Anyway, his other kid didn't have any other family and I'm pretty sure since they were married she had guardianship of him or something like that. Anyway, somehow it worked out so she was using welfare for about two years until she was making enough at the company so she didn't need it. I think in most cases child support is ok. Child support isn't always quite equal to what it would be if the guy was around. But if you're getting alimony, shut up. Lol.
    metalhealthmama

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 12:00 PM on Mar. 4, 2009