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How do I form relationship with babys grandma before he is born?

I am no longer with my baby's father, I have to testify against him next week. Needless to say, we aren't talking at all.
Anyways, I want to form a relationship with his mother before the baby is born, becouse I know (I hope!) she'll want to see him and I'd feel weird leaving him with a "Stranger". I will never tell her she can't see her grandson.
How do I go about this? I haven't talked to her since around Thanksgiving, and would feel weird calling her out of the blue when I'm about the testify against her son. I know it's his own fault, but she is his mom and I'm sure she's taking his side in all this. My daughter is having a birthday party at the end of the month, should I just mail her an invitation and an ultrasound pic? I'd love for her and her granddaughter to come - both kids are the same age.

Please help!

Answer Question
 
KimSanAntonio

Asked by KimSanAntonio at 12:49 PM on Mar. 4, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I would call her and tell her you know its a touchy situation but you would really like to leave the door open for her to have a relationship with her grandchild. She will probably really appreciate it. then tell her you are going to mail her an invitation and hope to see her there.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:54 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Wow that's a tough one,, sometimes it's hard enough to even have a relationship with the baby's grandma when your married to her son and you are testifying against him. Every mother stands by their children no matter what however she will also want to be a part of her grandchild's life in any way she can. I would suggest sending her a pic of the ultrasound and maybe asking her to come along baby shopping with you one day so she can get excited with you.
    happyplus3

    Answer by happyplus3 at 12:54 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I would invite her to the party,and then,tell her no matter what goes on between you,and her son,she is still your sons grandmother,and you want her to be in his life,invite her to a Dr.appt.or mae sure you keep her updated,I'm sure she will love an ultrasound pic.Good Luck to you all ,and God Bless
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 12:54 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • maybe if you dont want to call her (cuz i know that would probably be pretty akward) what if you put a letter in the invitation? sometimes its easier to get your thoughts across that way, and then if there are any hard feelings at least you wont have to deal with them and she will have heard how you feel. good luck =)
    disheveled

    Answer by disheveled at 12:56 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • i would call her and tell her why you want to get to know her.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 1:01 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the first answer. You're going to have to make the first move. Tell her you know the position she is in, and you can appreciate how she is feeling, but you never want to keep her from her grandson, and you'd like her to be a part of his life. Let her take it from there.
    LiviGracesmom

    Answer by LiviGracesmom at 1:41 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I'd let her know that even though the things between her son and you aren't the best, you would still like for her to be a part of the life that you two made together. I'd let her know that you aren't pushing her into something if she doesn't want to be involved, but that you wanted to make sure that she was aware that you are going to give her the chance. If she says that she wants to be part of the babies life, then just ask her if she wants to meet up for a lunch date or something before he is born. Then talk to her about the baby and other subjects other then the father. Treat her as if she is a new friend, and not the fathers mother... If she decides that she doesn't want to be part of the babies life, then tell her that you were just letting her know that the choice was hers, and that you hope that she reconsiders and to get in touch with you if she does! I wish you luck!!!!!
    TheLaakSmith

    Answer by TheLaakSmith at 4:53 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

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