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HELP! Tradition on Circumzing a Filipino Baby but can until 7???

I have a friend that is dispute in getting some answers. She is on a limb trying to figure out what she wants to do. Her first son was circumized no tradition attached. But she is now married to a Filipino. And is pregnant with a baby boy. Her husband and MIL say that they don't circumize before the age of 7. Okay, understandable. But she doesn't want her child to have to go through the torture or the other children making fun of him when it time to change in the locker room. I understand that too. Need I say the PAIN of going through that. What is she supposed to do? Should she said with the MIL and hubby or go with her way of circumizing right after birth??

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4kidsmommy

Asked by 4kidsmommy at 1:34 PM on Mar. 4, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (20)
  • She married her husband and if thats his custom, she should support it. I don't think kids are in locker rooms showing off at 7...maybe I'm clueless but I dont think so. And not all kids are circumsized at all. Of course it will be more painful after 7 but again, if its custom theres nothing she can or should do.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:37 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • IDK, but I would be talking to other Filipino families and asking them because I have never heard of such a thing. I think in the US, circumcising a child at that age is inhumane and wrong. You don't live in the Philippines and your spouse has to understand he married you and knew your culture/religion before you were married and accepted you, so he needs to accept you are not comfortable with putting your child through such pain/torture for no real reason. All things aside, you need to do what you feel is best for your child. My opinion is that there is no need to make a child go through an unnecessary, extremely painful procedure for no valid reason. You are the mother and your say is just as valid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Her being a United States citizen I would get it done right away that is so ridiculous for the child to have to wait because of some old belief times has changed and the only person that is going to be in pain is that little boy. So If I were your friend I would pretend I am going along with the tradition and once the boy is born snip snip all is said and done and there won't be anything they can do about it but problem solved. But she has to pretend she is ok with the traditionn or this won't work. That is the only advice I can give. GL to ur friend.

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:46 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I have 3 intact boys.

    It's my opinion -- "custom" or not -- that if it isn't done at birth, it simply shouldn't be done. It's his penis. He should have the right to choose whether or not he wants a painful, irreversible, and purely cosmetic surgery done to his body.

    Whether it's done at birth, age 7, into adulthood, or any other time --- it should ALWAYS be done with the use of at least a local anesthesia. It's the same pain no matter the age.

    Ya see... THIS is why you talk about stuff like this before saying "I do".
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:46 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • It hurts just as bad for a baby to circumcized as it does for a 7 year old. Lots of kids aren't circumsized. I guess I don't understand what the big deal is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • My boys are intact. Please don't have cosmetic surgery performed on your children. Circumcision is outdated and barbaric.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I don't know what the traditions are, but your should talk to hubby and MIL and a ped dr too and see what the procedure is at that age ... do some drs NOT do or certain ones etc...
    Also she and her dh should have discussed this prior to marriage so that all would be on the same page when the time came... If it is his tradition she should stand by him...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 1:52 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • To go and do it behind his back is horrible advice. That is NOT a great start to a lasting marriage. Custom is important, especially if it is tied to his religion.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:56 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • If they are in this country the child should be circumcized at birth. I am not sure how the law would look at parents waiting until 7 years of age in this country. I think it would be seriously frowned upon.
    Marwill

    Answer by Marwill at 1:56 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I usually don't get into the debates on religion but I just wanted to share this. It saddens me with all the "man-made" traditions that scar so many children. I have been married for over 16 yrs. I disagree with the first person that says since you married your husband you should support his tradition. WTH! There are many people who are married who have different faiths. Second of all, I keep other people OUT of my marriage and family. MIL has no say so, I don't care what the Filipino or any other tradition says. Lastly, you say she had her other son circumcised. Ask her has she thought about how he will feel know she let the other child have it and not him. Come on mom, get a backbone, protect your child. You are welcome to copy and send to her what I said. I am praying for the best outcome FOR THE CHILD!
    usanamama

    Answer by usanamama at 2:02 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

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