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Do you think I am crazy LOL?

Okay so from like 8th grade until 10th grade I went through a whole gothic phase...I wore all black, likes skull, listened to M. Manson, all that jazz... Well my ex (my son's "sperm donor"...I had my son at 16) is still like that and just a no good person....My son is now 7...and in the 1st grade....Well, I do NOT allow him to wear black (unless its dress clothes or shoes) and he is not allowed to wear skulls....I am just sooo parinoid that he will end up gothic too... LOL he has been in Gap & Gymboree (like the "preppiest" clothes I can afford) since birth... I can't help but feel I am a little crazy when it comes to this lol... What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Mar. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • I say let kids show their true personalities to some extent and with guidence but a 1st grader has not figured that out yet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • at least you realize there is a problem. how do you think YOUR parents felt when you were so rebellious?
    chefjen

    Answer by chefjen at 3:41 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Ehhh... It obviously was just a phase you went through. You're older and wiser. I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about.
    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 3:42 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Not allowing a child to wear black seems a bit crazy, but it doesn't sound like you were ever goth either. It's about a lot more than black clothes and skulls.

    Forcing a child to wear clothes *you* like, especially out of fear, could easily backfire and you could have a teenager who completely rebels.

    While I don't think I would put skulls on a 7 year old, I wont force *preppy* clothes on my daughter, it's about find and exploring who you are while allowing clothing to remain appropriate for age and school. I went through a ton of phases in school. My mom was a big hippie so I would wear flow-y skirts, hippie style shirts, etc. I then went through a *punk* phase, and a *metal* phase. It was funny, but I was always allowed and encouraged to be myself: with boundries of course.. but they never banned an entire *look*.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 3:44 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I think as long as you instill good values in him (constantly, 'cause that is one battle that NEVER ends!) you can allow him to express his creativity/emotions with clothing. I, too, was "alternative" in high school (that's what we were before we were called "goth") and I turned out to be a productive and happy member of society. I think a certain amount of morbid curiosity is normal during puberty, when the idea of mortality seems to begin to occur to kids, is normal. Again, as long as you make sure that your son understands the theatrical nature of it all (remember, Alice Cooper wore eyeliner long before Robert Smith or Marilyn Manson, and our society recovered from that, too!) it can be harmless. Just make sure he understands compassion, and kindness, and responsibility. It sounds like you understand all of those good things...you will both be just fine! :)
    Jodie118

    Answer by Jodie118 at 3:44 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • no i dont think your crazy, i try not to dress my kids the way my inlaws dress them lol
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 3:47 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Oh my goodness...I hated the day that I realized my mom was right but she said I look ridiculus dressing like I was dead. My rebelious times came to a screeching halt when i got pregnant with my son at 16....so I had no choice but to wise up.
    I know my son has good values and he always telling me jesus likes this and he says to do that...Needless to say the boy has come to love church! And that is his own choice to go to church not mine...I dont go anymore...my grandma takes him on sundays.
    Briyawna

    Answer by Briyawna at 3:51 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • opps forgot to put anon again lmao...its me! I asked the ?
    Briyawna

    Answer by Briyawna at 3:51 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • kids that dress preppy can get pregnant, or "not be a good person" too...

    dress your child how you want... however, like celticreverie said... it sounds like it could easily backfire.
    abelsmama07

    Answer by abelsmama07 at 3:54 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • oh yes I fully know it can backfire...my mom tried to tell me I could not date my ex...and the result of that is my son. A lot of the kids where I am from that go to Christian or Catholic schools are alcoholics...I think once he gets a little older I will ligthen up on what I let him wear...I have seen some skater style clothes w/ skulls that look pretty cute...
    Briyawna

    Answer by Briyawna at 3:57 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

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