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Toddler Hitting

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop hitting. My 17 m.o daughter has gotten into the hitting phase. She hits and punches me- she will sit behind me on the couch and hit my back. A friend of mine and her family were over sunday, she has a 10 m.o. and my daughter hits him. She is fine for a while but then she will go up to him and hit him over and over. I have been putting her in time out for hitting me. But is there anythign else that will help?

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Asked by ellasmommy2007 at 5:19 PM on Mar. 4, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • what I do is as soon as mine starts hitting I grab her hand and say thats not nice be gentle and nice and do the nice gesture soft up and down motion with her hand in mine... my dd was hitting the cat and I did this everytime I caught her... now when she starts hitting I say be nice and she starts patting nicely. hope this works

    Answer by BxMetroMom718 at 5:23 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I've tried doing that also. I have been reading the book "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" so I have been trying to use some of the methods in the book. I know that nothing will work immediately, but it really hurts when she hits me so i can only imagine how it feels to people her own size.

    Answer by ellasmommy2007 at 5:25 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • My newphe did both hitting,punching,kicking, and bitting stage. We tryed all the methods out there till we finally had to do them back. He would come up and smack us in the arm when we did something he did like so we did it back not hard but just to let him feel it hurt. Lots of time they don't know what they do does hurt. It's sounds nasty but we were at the end of the chain and he was starting to bruise and draw blood.

    Answer by sweet_pea_1116 at 5:56 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • First of all, if anyone says to hit them back, do NOT do that. That does nothing but teach a child that it's OK to hit. Think about it, "Don't hit me, its not nice, so now I'm going to hit you to prove it." Yup, makes total sense, not.
    Anyhow, we use the 3 strike method. The first strike is a firm warning. "L, that is NOT nice. We don't hit people. If you do it again, you are going straight to timeout." Timeout is 1 minute per year of age. (We've been using it since 10 months. A 17 month old is not too young for time out.) If he does it again, he is told, "You were warned, straight to timeout." Then we take him there and he sits for 1 minute. At the end of the time out, we calmly and gently talk to him. We say, "L, when Mommy and Daddy tell you not to do something, you have to listen. When you break the rules you get in trouble. Now lets hug." Then we hug and all is well. Usually, this is the end of it.

    Answer by mom2ljh at 7:09 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • If not, then the third strike causes the loss of a favorite toy. We take away his mega blocks, elmo live, remote controlled robot, v-smile, or something else of personal value to him. If all else failed, losing a favorite toy ALWAYS works. We've never had it fail, in regards to things like hitting, etc.
    He threw his V-smile pocket at my mom yesterday. That got no warnings. He automatically lost it until after lunch. He hasn't thrown it since.

    Answer by mom2ljh at 7:11 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Well i dont believe in hitting children for any purpose whatsoever so that wouldnt happnen. I have been doing time-outs and talking to her before and after. So far its not working. I dont think she has an absolute fave toy, she will play with anything really, and it changes day to day, so i will have to really look at what she plays with.

    Answer by ellasmommy2007 at 7:17 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I don't agree with three strikes as far as hitting, kicking, or biting is concerned. One time. "NO THANK YOU!" Look your LO right in the eye, and tell her, "We do not hit." Make sure you are very firm, and even raise your voice a little if you have to get her attention, but don't yell. I then plop DD down on her butt, and look away, let her cry for one minute, then pick her up and say softly, "We don't hit. I love you." My LO (16 months) usually needs a cuddle at this point, and that is the end of things.

    If she hits again, I remove her from the room and walk away. Repeat as necessary. Make sure she knows her feelings are valid, "It is okay to be angry," but that she needs to learn a more appropriate manner to channel her anger.

    This has been pretty effective for me. Hope it helps you!

    Answer by epoh at 8:28 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • That is a good idea and i have don that too. But she doesnt hit out of anger...she jsut does it. She will just get behind me on the couch and start hitting me. I do think it is to get me to look at her. Or i have noticed it being around nap or bed time. Thank you all for your suggestions.

    Answer by ellasmommy2007 at 8:57 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

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