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Gender Disappointment

Has anyone dealt with gender disappointment? I know that all we are really supposed to wish for is a healthy baby, but when i was pregnant with my first child and found out the sex, i cried for a month. 6 years later i am now pregnant with my second, and scared to death about not getting the gender i had hoped for. I swore not to get pregnant again until i didn't care what the baby's sex was, and i thought i reached that point but i guess i was wrong. I'm only 6 weeks along, so i can't find out the gender for quite a while, and i am terrified. Anyone feel this way before? Any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on Mar. 4, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (13)
  • Do you love the child you have now? As much as i want a little girl, I know I will love him just as much if he's a boy. All babies are a blessing and even if you are disappointed when you find out, you will still have a beautiful baby in the end who you will love and adore with your whole heart.

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 9:50 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Gender shouldnt matter.. we had a girl first and this time we hoped for a boy but got another girl... We dont care... sorry you feel that way~!

    Answer by BallardMomma at 9:50 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • With my son was hoping a teeny tiny bit more for a girl, but was not at all sad that i had boy.. and i am actually LOVING having a lil boy now (he is 2) and i am pregnant again and glad i had boy first... big bortheres are good.. we are hoping this one will be girl.. i will be tiny bit dissapointed but not much.. you get waht you are meant to have.. plus it will be less we have to buy.. i dont know why it would be THAT upsetting to anyone.. some people try so hard just to get one child.. we tried for almost a yr to convcieve this baby and while a girl would be nice we are just thrilled period.. sorry if i come across rude but grow up a lil bit and get over it

    Answer by JrsMommy07 at 9:53 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I have 3 daughters, I experienced gender disappointment for a little while after the last two. I desperately wanted a boy. So I can relate....but I didn't hang on to it the way it seems you might. Why is gender so important to you? I mean maybe if you can find out why it matters so much you can try to find a way to work through that.

    Lots of people don't get the exact family they pictured growing up. I know I didn't plan on all girls. But thats what I got and I wouldn't trade any of my girls for a baby just cause it had a penis.

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:54 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • i hung onto mine for a long time, i REALLY wanted a baby girl... finally at 10 months i think i REALLY get this mommy thing!

    Answer by aliciatron at 10:02 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • you should just be happy that your perg and that the baby your having will hopefully be healthy. Gender shouldn't matter because a baby is a baby look how many people can't have kids, they'd love to just have a child to love and care for. maybe you should think about it that way and be thinking your lucky stars you can have children. It wouldn't matter to me I'd love a boy just as good as i would a girl but thats me and i also got upset when my friend cried because she was having another boy so sorry if i sound rude we lost our first girl at 5 months preg so right now it wouldn't matter to me if i had another girl or if it was a boy as long as it was healthy and didn't die.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I wanted a girl so bad I told the doctor he didnt even have to look in the ultrasound i knew it was a girl! But I was def having a boy. I was sad for like .2 seconds but I seen how happy my husband was and I didnt mind that we were having a boy. my son is amazing : ]

    Answer by JmgBlair at 10:30 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • If you know the month of conception, which you do, and your age, which you do, go to the chinese gender predictor. It's pretty awesome. It's been right on every time I check it.

    Answer by haroldswife at 10:36 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • Your post angers me......sorry, but I am step-mom only and will likely never get to be a mom. What I would give to have either. Get over it and be grateful for the 2nd blessing that many wish they could have.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

  • I realize on here you are mainly getting moms who are telling you to 'suck it up' or 'get over it' but it is completely natural to feel disappointed over not getting a certain gender. It's almost like you have to greive for the child you will never have and all the dreams you had for that child. And yes I understand the moms who HAVE actually lost a baby and those who it took a long time to conceive, but each person's issues and difficulties are important to them and at that moment in time is affecting THEIR life. I myself have 2 girls and found out recently that I'm pregnant again... and yes I am wanting to hear that it's a boy. I am trying to deal with the fact now that it may be another girl. I know I will love her but it doesn't make me want a boy any less. I would talk to your dr. now so that after the baby comes if you're still feeling disappointed or depressed you already have the info you need to get help & support.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Mar. 4, 2009

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