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I am worried about my SO. He has worked in labor-type jobs since he was 16. He hasn't been able to work since 12/19/08 because of his back. We have tried one injection, PT, and a chiro. Nothing seems to really be helping. He hates sitting around the house, but anytime he pushes himself & does too much he can't move the next day. I think things will get better once summer gets here, but this is a major stress for him.

Secondly, his parents moved in with us in Aug. of last year because his dad has been out of work and they could no longer afford their place. His mom is on disability so she has a limited income. He & his dad are too much alike in some ways. One of these days they are going to blow up at one another & its not going to be pretty.

Last night he came home and basically broke down. I dont know what to do. He is so stressed out. He doesnt feel like our home is home... We only moved in here at the end of last May. He told me last night that he didnt think he and I had ever had a night alone in our own home. With his dad here, it just doent feel like his house to him. & his dad makes smart-*** remarks about little stuff that drive him insane. i know that if they both worked on how they interact it would be better for both of them, but neither one of them are the changing type...

What can I do to help his parents move out?

 
aly38914290

Asked by aly38914290 at 8:37 AM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 8 (259 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Is there anyway that his dad can get a job? Is he actively looking for another job? I don't know enough about your situation of course, but if you have enough property, could you put a mobile home or something on it? Have they looked into any kind of low income rentals or anything. I know sometimes they are not in the best neighborhoods, but maybe they could find something. I don't know if anything helps, but I wish you the best of luck and I can understand why your hubby is frustrated! And, you seem like a great wife for being concerned!
    mommystiebler

    Answer by mommystiebler at 12:08 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Well, you guys could look for another place and maybe not have room for them (if you're renting). Or start dropping hints about them finding their own place. I understand you want to help, but at some point you stop helping the out and just start helping them to be reliant on you. I hope that if my parents ever need help, I will be able to, but there will come a time when my help runs thin I'm sure. Good luck though.
    mommystiebler

    Answer by mommystiebler at 9:12 AM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • we can't move. we own our home (no payments or anything). it is 5 bedrooms so they have their own bedroom (it was going to be a playroom for the kids and that bothers him too because he wants the kids to have that since that was the plan). and we can't afford to buy another place or rent another place. they know that they need another place. they aren't happy here either. its just really hard because i dont know what we can do since they only have his mom's disability as income.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:28 AM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Have his dad get disability too?? And have your so go to a dr. about his back one that will look into realy helping him or put him on meds. my DH hurt his back ten yrs. ago and was denied dis. but if he has to go without his meds. then he cant do anything, he is still to young for a surgery the dr. say but we havent heard good thing about that. Hope things work out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • His dad needs to get unenployment/social security/disability or find a job first off.Then if you guys can help them save up for a deposit for an apartment that would be great. ( I know w/kids and hubby that may not be an option, but at the same time if they aren't paying you guys any $ then they should be able to save some cash too)
    If it seems like they can't move for a while, then try and set some ground rules for everybody. Its your house and you are adults, so you are allowed to set some boundries on their behaviors and/or remarks.
    In the mean time, try to maintain some harmony in the house. Even if they are getting on your nerves, these people did raise your hubby and probably housed/fed/clothed him for at least 18 years. And if the relationship was good enough for you two to agree to let them live with you, then they must be ok people. Sometimes its easy to forget what good people they could be when in close quarters
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 2:38 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • his dad can't get unemployment because of his past jobs. and as much as i would like them to save up, that doesnt seem realistic.

    also, they are good people. his mom is great. his dad is probably by most def. an alcoholic and as much as he isnt a bad person, probably could have been a better father.

    i am not looking to change people. just somehow help my SO. i am not trying to argue with everything. i think these are all great ideas. its just hard to actually make these things a reality when you add in the people. lol
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 3:23 PM on Mar. 5, 2009