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I am worried about my SO. He has worked in labor-type jobs since he was 16. He hasn't been able to work since 12/19/08 because of his back. We have tried one injection, PT, and a chiro. Nothing seems to really be helping. He hates sitting around the house, but anytime he pushes himself & does too much he can't move the next day. I think things will get better once summer gets here, but this is a major stress for him.

Secondly, his parents moved in with us in Aug. of last year because his dad has been out of work and they could no longer afford their place. His mom is on disability so she has a limited income. He & his dad are too much alike in some ways. One of these days they are going to blow up at one another & its not going to be pretty.

Last night he came home and basically broke down. I dont know what to do. He is so stressed out. He doesnt feel like our home is home... We only moved in here at the end of last May. He told me last night that he didnt think he and I had ever had a night alone in our own home. With his dad here, it just doent feel like his house to him. & his dad makes smart-*** remarks about little stuff that drive him insane. i know that if they both worked on how they interact it would be better for both of them, but neither one of them are the changing type...

What can I do to help his parents move out?


Asked by aly38914290 at 8:38 AM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Health

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Answers (5)
  • I'm afraid we are going to start seeing more of this in today's economy, blended households are going to become more common. I know that's not what you wanted to hear.

    My inlaws have stayed with us in the spring several times when the river floods. We actually all got snowed in last year and noone could leave for several days so it was stressful to say the least. It is hard blending and getting usto how others run a house. My MIL would get bored and start rearanging the house or start cleaning, I felt like I needed to entertain them and was extremely stressed but put up with it because I knew for me there was an end to it, and I knew they needed to stay somewhere.

    You & dh might need to have a date night, he can ask his mom if they can watch the kids so he can take you out, find someway to have some alone time and it will help you stay connected. If you feel the need, then have a family meeting and talk it out.

    Answer by INDIANAMOM at 9:16 AM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • keep checking with different Dr's. I found that Physical Therapy worked the best for my back problems and more exercise and massage!


    Answer by chefjen at 9:19 AM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • he has a buldging disc and some degeneration too. there was a pinched nerve that was sending shooting pain down his left leg, but the first shot actually made it so the shooting pain doesnt happen as much.

    and nothing against my SO, but he isnt the type to do the exercises you need to do with PT. also its really expensive and he has no insurance. every option is expensive,....

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:52 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I am going to agree with Indianamom here. This is going to be common and its not necessarily ALL bad. Families are going to have to learn to get along and deal with their crap so they can coexist with one another. We have a lot of push in society to coexist with people of other faiths and beliefs but we are never pushed to actually get along with our family and people we are supposed to love. I realize that some of them are intolerable but they can be dealt with. If they move, where are they going to go? Is there a plan for the future or was it indefinately? It sounds like your husbands issues are a lot more about HIM and then the issue with his parents is just one more thing to deal with. I wish I had an answer about his physical issues.

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:34 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • yes the issue is about him. and his father. there is a lot i could go into, but his dad will complain about things like dinner or make comments about things not getting done around the house or stupid things like that. this makes SO upset because his dad could do more himself.

    also there was no definate time line when they moved in. and i dont know where they would move - thus the problem.

    i feel like SO is gettting depressed and i am worried about him....I have e-mailed two of his sisters and waiting to hear back.

    this father son relationship is as good as its going to get. they get along better when they dont live together. and it works tha way for a lot of people.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 2:35 PM on Mar. 5, 2009