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How do I explain to my daughter about starting her period and why it happens w/out telling her about sex. Or how do I explain to her about what sex is.

My daughter has been having urinary problems and such and she is 9 yrs old. I have thougth about telling her about menstration and such just so she knows about it before it comes and it scares her. But I have never talked to her about what sex actually is. I know is I talk about her period and why it happens then I know pregnancy and sex will have to be talked about also.
I don't know what she already (or thinks) she knows about sex. There has been a couple of times she has heard some noises from our bedroom and she got all upset, yelling that she is hearing noises she doesn't like and that she makes sure she tells us that she is still awake. She gets very upset. We try making up excuses because it isn't the right time to discuss sex (late at night, ect.) But by morning she acts as if nothing has happened.
Any advice on how to work throught this? How old is your DD and have you had the talk yet?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I agree with the other answers. You should buy books for her to read incase she feels uncomfortable with the conversation, but you should also talk to her about it youself, because other kids could give her mis-information about it.

    Answer by lovelymommy2009 at 7:29 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • My daughter is 11, she had the class in school and they sent home a book and they watched a short film about changes in the body. I talked with her about the book and movie, asked if she had any question and she did. I felt she needed to know about her body and the changes she will be going thru, and know if we start the communication now she will be more likely to come to me later on. I was also concerned bc she has had hairy legs for 2 years, and is getting chestier by the day so I know it won't be long. Our school has this class for girls starting in the 4th grade. It is mostly about changes that everyone goes thru, what to expect like hair, the need to start using deodorant, just simple things like that and then explains puberty.

    There are books you can get that are age apropriate, check at your local library and see if they have anything.


    Answer by INDIANAMOM at 12:25 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I think you should talk to her soon, otherwise she will get misinformation from kids at school and the more she learns about sex from other sources, the more uncomfortable it will probably be for you two to discuss it. I agree with the PP to look at books in your local library and pick one that is age appropriate that you feel comfortable with to help. As a starting point, ask her what she already knows about the subject, you may be surprised, and go from there. Just try to keep it as matter of fact as possible and try not to be embarrassed about it, leave it open-ended with the idea that she should feel comfortable coming to you as questions or concerns come up.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:36 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I had the talk with my children when they started asking questions. My daughter was 7yrs. old, my older son was 8 yrs. and my youngest was 9yrs.(though he doesn't remember & because he has Asperger's & is not as mature I left my explanation pretty basic without a lot of detail.) With my older two I just answered their questions, kept it simple and to the point & told them if they had any questions they could always come to me.

    I also gave them each a different book when they got older that pretty much covered everything. My youngest hasn't been given his book yet because he isn't ready for all that info. My oldest are now 15 & 13 and we discuss sex openly. They come to me with any questions they have & know they can tell me anything. My youngest gets embarrassed easily & doesn't ask many questions yet. I know when he matures a bit more that will change & I'll be here for him when the time comes.

    Answer by bookworm65 at 6:35 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • My DD is 10 and we had the "sex talk" when she was 9 at the same time her science curriculum was covering animal reproduction because she knew we humans are animals/mammals. She also was five when her younger sister was born (didn't really ask how she got in my tummy) and 9 when her brother was born. She already knew about the sperm and eggs and fertilization from her science work. So I just had to relate it to our bodies.

    Answer by marbear98 at 4:10 PM on Mar. 11, 2009