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What would you do? Stepmom?

Ok heres the deal. ss does nothing around this house, ever. I always clean up his messes and one day I told dh, hey look what Im doing here. I showed him nasty crusty dishes that ss left in the sink. Which btw he had kept in his bdrm all week. So I told dh, from now on if ss don't at least rinse his dishes then he could wash them for a week. Well thats never happened even though I still have to deal with nasty crusty dishes, just to keep arguments from errupting or bad feelings between me and dh. It feels like if I point out this fact, dh thinks that im picking on ss. Today there were 4 drinking glasses in my sink, with some other dishes I left in there from snacks last night. 3 of them had dried milk and one had dried oj pulp in it. I did all the dishes from last night and left his 4 glasses there for him to wash. Was this the right move and what do I say to dh when he says, im just picking on ss over it?

 
mom_wrhsc

Asked by mom_wrhsc at 12:37 PM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • LOL...I agree with riotgrrl...and if THAT didn't work, take all the dirty dishes they refuse to wash and put them in ss bathtub and put the dish soap up with the shampoo :) When shit hits the fan ask DH if he wants a maid or a wife...because both have perks and you can only be one or the other :)
    tandknix

    Answer by tandknix at 1:17 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • HOW OLD IS HE???? Excuse the caps but he should have set chores and should be washing the dishes for the entire family as a chore. I would set up a chore list for the children (yours included if you have any) and implement it ASAP. You shouldn't have to go through this...and hubby should (and probably will) support you.

    I just had my 17 year old SS move out...he was lazy too.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 12:40 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • 16 yrs old
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 12:41 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • You should set up chores for him and since he has a proble with dishes, he should be washing all the dishes. And stop allowing him to eat anywhere besides the kitchen that will stop the nasty cups and plates. If he doesn't listen to that then start taking things away that he loves. Just make that a HOUSE rule no food or drink anywhere but the kitchen, honestly it will save your sanity in the long run.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:43 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I wouldn't let that fly in my house! You are nicer than I would be. You need to talk to your husband and tell him that you hold the child to the same standards you would any other person in the house, even your husband. Tell your husband if he ever did that, you would make him wash them as well. Why does this child not have chores and responsibilities? I would do what you know is best and be consistent! Structure is going to be your best friend in this situation.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 12:43 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • He needs to have chores...you're not the maid. He should at least be responsible for cleaning up after himself and if he doesn't oblige then punishment should be set. How else is he going to be a functioning adult? Kids need discipline.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 12:44 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Leave them in the sink for SS or DH to do. That way you are not picking on SS, or picking up his messes.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:46 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Leaving then don't work because they stay there til I do them and we only have so many dishes...lol Telling him not to eat anywhere but kitchen won't work because ss knows if I say that dh won't back me on it. Already been there.
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 12:55 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Seriously, I would buy some paper plates for myself and live out of the microwave until they caved.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:05 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Hey now thats a thought riotgrrl...love it lol
    mom_wrhsc

    Answer by mom_wrhsc at 1:12 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

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