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10 year old niece asking questionss....PUBERTY

My husbands brothers daughter Aliana is 10. Shes in 5th grade and has been wanting to ask me question about sex&puberty lately. Her mom died when she was in labor with her, and shes an only child. She calls me and wants to know if we could have a mini "girls night" soon so she could talk to me about "growing up girl things". Of course i will, but i dont know exactly what to say. me & her are very close, but i havent seen her in 3 months, so we talk online often. My kids are under age 6, so i havent been through this yet with them. any advice? Alianas dad called me one day and said "could you talk to her for me, i dont know how to explain those woman things!" i said yes, but i dont know what to exactly tell her about sex&puberty. Shes the type of girl who asks A LOT of questions, which i guess is good, but idk. I also want to be sensitive about her not having her mom around vto tell her, because i know how important that is...

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lovelymommy2009

Asked by lovelymommy2009 at 9:01 PM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (8)
  • Oh wow, sounds like you have a great relationship with her and its so great that you are there for her!

    I would be as open and honest as possible. And decide right now not to act shocked or embarrased by anything she or you may bring up.

    I would also explain about her upcoming period. Maybe get her a few pads too and show her how to use them. Because if she lives with dad then more that likely she will start with him there and no female around to help. So just to give her a little help on that end.

    Maybe you could buy her a AGE appropriate information book. Write a sweet message in the cover to let her know you are always there for her if she needs to talk.

    Sounds like you two will do just fine though ;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:06 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Just be straight forward with her. dont do the whole 'you cant have sex til you are married thing' it never works. i would print out some diagrams about womens bodies on the inside and out. tell her everything. If you dont tell her she will find out from some girls at school and wont be informed right. make sure you tell her about how babies are made too. a lot of kids know you have sex but they dont really know what it is. Also when she asks you a question, have her tell you everything she thinks about it before you start answering. that way you can correct anything she may be wrong about. Have her write down a list of questions she wants to ask so she doesn't forget anything. Good luck sista!
    jody1130

    Answer by jody1130 at 9:08 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Every time I read a similar question on here, people suggest a book called, "The Care and keeping of you" for girls to help with a lot of those "growing up girl things". Maybe you should check it out and have that on hand. I think Target has it for sure.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • hi i have 3 girls.be very open.talk about getting your period cause that is probly most important now...i have an daughter who is 29 and one who is 9.my oldest is married and had a baby.well i tell you.her first question was why is justin (her husband )involved?well i started to tell her but she could only deal with so much.the typical questions...where is the baby coming out.she dealt with that really well it was how the baby got in there that she wasnt to sure of.to tell you the truth we talked about sperm but when it came to the man parts no way....so i think she will give you a signal as to what she can deal with and what is just to much for now.my daughter breast feed.i didnt think that would go over well but i think my youngest dealt with it better than i did,i am still thinking she is a virgin and it was an immaculate conception....lol
    snowmom974

    Answer by snowmom974 at 12:39 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • First check with dad and how much he wants her to be told. Also, find out what has been discussed in health class at school. If she has the material from school, that would be helpful. You can also call the school and ask the school nurse what is covered in her grade level. Just answer her questions, I am sure she is uncomfortable asking her dad. It is great that you are there for her for this, she really needs someone she is comfortable with and can trust. There are tons of books at the bookstore on this subject, ask a salesclerk and they can point you in the right direction, as can the school nurse.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:42 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • The Care and Keeping of You is a book by the American Girls organization. They have it at Borders books or other bookstores. It is a good reference and guide for her after you have had an open conversation with her. I think that if you talk to her about things then she will see you as open and honest and she will come to you when even bigger worries or questions come about instead of going to someone else who may not have the correct information(like her friends).
    LovetoTeach247

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 7:08 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I think if shes asking questions then someone should tell her but don't tell her anything you don't think is suitable
    Amber-Leigh

    Answer by Amber-Leigh at 1:03 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • I would tell her what she needs to know for now. When she gets older then I would have the talk about the other talk.
    Mudpie123

    Answer by Mudpie123 at 7:29 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

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