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18 year old having boyfriend syay

c is now 18 she has a full time job on night shift. I have told her I did not want boyfriend to sleep here with her while I'm not here or any time for that matter. She does what she wants anyway

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (11)
  • Sounds like it's time for her to move out or follow the rules! Lay down the law Mom!
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 10:06 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Even if she's 18, she still lives with you and needs to follow YOUR rules. If she doesn't like it, she's old enough to live on her own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • She's 18. She's got a job. Help her find an apartment.

    jessnpaulie1014

    Answer by jessnpaulie1014 at 3:31 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • It's a shame she disrespects you like that. what do you plan on doing about it?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:35 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • It's your house right? So, YOUR rules mom! Just because she is 18 doesn't mean she gets to do what she wants. My 18yo is a Junior in high school and he has to be home right after track/footbaall/drama/work or right school if there is nothing going on activity wise and he is home for the night on school nights. On weekends he's allowed to go out untiil 11p, maybe midnight if there's something special going on, and he has to have clear plans in orfder to be allowed to go out. His 17yo brother is in the same grade and has the same exact rules because our rules are based on grade level and not age. Neither of my sons would ever do something like that. They respect us and our rules. You need to make your daughter tow the line or kick her to the curb.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • Rules of the house,Mom's rules!! My son lives at home but he's over 18,yet he follows my rules. Lets face it: kids today have it too good and they are spoiled by what we do for them. If they honestly think they'll have it better out in the world,go for it. I guarantee you,they will learn to respect you for the good parent you are. Lay the law down,mama.
    guardmp_MOM

    Answer by guardmp_MOM at 3:50 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • Absolutely it is your house and she needs to follow your rules. Tell the bf, if you find him sleeping in your house again you'll charge him with trespassing. If they are old enough to sleep together, then they are old enough to get their own place. I know it's hard, but you don't need the disrespect. Let her know that she is always welcome when she wants to come back if she is going to follow the rules
    sanskrit

    Answer by sanskrit at 12:01 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • If it really bothers you personally, then you can tell her she has to move out. I do know parents who choose to treat their 18-plus children as adults and allow them to have boyfriends sleep over. It is hard making that adjustment to treating the child as an adult..... I guess the question is, do you feel she is taking advantage of you, doing something you feel is morally wrong, or what? If you have her move out, she will probably move in with the very boyfriend you don't want staying over. I guess you have to understand your own motivation to know what steps to take. It is completely up to you. I do agree this is an uncomfortable stage in parenting, that is for sure!
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 8:25 AM on Mar. 9, 2009

  • I would put a time limit when he comes over, like 10pm or something. Tell your daughter ahead of time that he needs to leave by this time. And that's that. I have done this with my daughter's boyfriends. And if they are still around and don't want to leave you have to enforce it. One thing for sure the first few times they will try and ignore and that's where you come in. Are you married or do you have the support of her father on this?

    Sounds like you can definitely count on her breaking your rules when you are not home regardless of what you tell her. I would tell him directly and or talk to his parents if he lives at home still. Or sit them both down and lay it all out for them. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Mar. 10, 2009

  • It's YOUR house. Tell him to get the heck out! If she doesn't like it, she can get her own place!
    RyleeMendez

    Answer by RyleeMendez at 8:32 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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