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unevenly yoked?

i know the bible states to not be unevenly yoked....i am a borna again Christian and my bf of six months is catholic...he is the most patient understanding man i have ever met...doesnt drink or do drugs...when he is upset with me or gets angry he sits me down and talks to me about it....and i do mean hard words jsut talking like adults should...i have known him for almost a year now...and the only thing that may pose a problemin the future is our different beliefs..i dont push mine on him..he repsects that i am a christian..and i do that same and respect that he is catholic....but what if things go really well say ina year or more and we decide to get married..i will not have my children being raised anyhting but christian..and have talked to him about this...his reply was if u want the kids to be christian as long as it is witht he kids best intentions in mind that is fine...waht are your opinions? plz no bashing.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (44)
  • Well, Catholic is a Christian faith, but I'm with you, I would not want my kids raised in a Catholic church. You need to discuss this at great lengths. Pray about it. Decide if you would be willing to attend different churches than your spouse. Or would he change to your faith? These are all things you need to know before the relationship progresses. If your answer is no, you could not live with attending different churches (which I think would be confusing to the kids), then I would end the relationship now.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • He doesn't seem against you taking the children to a Christian church, and i think when they are old enough you can let them make their own decision on whether to be catholic or christian or athiest or mormon or whatever. That's what i would do!

    Answer by Ginanne at 10:28 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Catholics are Christians. What is the big deal in respecting his beliefs while holding on to yours? Can you not take them to both services and let them make their minds up? There is no way I would let my religion get in the way of a great guy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Okay well my Dad married a Muslim, it's a disaster. I love the woman so much but - it's a disaster. The children don't know which religion they are - the values in the home are confused between the materialistic nature of her family vs. the family oriented nature of ours. They love each other a lot but they sure made a mess for everyone else.

    The kids pretend to be muslim around some grandparents - maybe theyre pretending with us - who knows?

    Catholic/Christian isn't so different - have you discussed which parts of the catholic belief system he is a stark believer of. Does he believe in indulgences and the power of saints or the pope having the ability to change God's word as needed?

    Answer by Praying at 10:31 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I grew up Catholic and they are Christians. These days, they are moving forward towards a new age and becoming more like what you would describe as Christian. It's not all that bad....Catholicism actually teaches children discipline (not like you see in the movies) and respect for their elders. I would have them alternate every Sunday which church they go to and let them decide when they are like 6 or 7 which one to be baptized in, and stay with more often.

    Answer by SRLPrincess1067 at 10:33 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I am shocked you don't understand that christian is generic for any christ believing faith. Born again means you are reborn as self affirming christian, if Im correct. Perhaps you are an evangelical. If you are concerned with whether you should be with a Catholic since you are not one, then you should have stayed in YOUR church and waited til GOD brought your soulmate. Otherwise, get a grip about the diff faiths and understand that all of us have (or sadly do not have) life principles/values and thats what you should primarily share/yolk so you are not squabbling about life altering things which would in fact negatively impact each life under your union/house.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • In 2 Corinthians 6:14, the apostle Paul says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." Paul's comment here is that believers and nonbelievers do have nothing in common, so trying to start a marriage with such a disparity will only lead to problems. God is to be at the center of a Christian marriage, and if one of you involved don't acknowledge that, tensions will arise. And it will eventually affect your marriage. Marrying a non-Christian may, in the short run, bring satisfaction. But over time it's most likely to become a source of pain, given that your marriage can't be centered on Christ. I know many women who now deeply regret their decision to marry a non-Christian. Most still love their husband, but they miss so much of what God intended their marriage to be.


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 10:44 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • OP here...what concerns me with the the way they believe...i am not comfortable with them going to a catholic church....i dont know much about the catholic faith...but from what i have seen they seem to pray to mary. that is idolotry...that is what concerns me...i am a Christian...and i am baptist to beliefs are very strong...and will not waver...i pray for him regularly...but i do respect that he is catholic. he is a great great man...and thus far it is not posing a problem with us...i am jsut thinking in long kids in now way are going to a catholic church..i would prefer that my kids are firmly grounded in a good fundamental ..gosple preaching teaching church....catholics are based from wht i am am aware of(correct me if i am wrong) they are based on works..mine is based on grace...plz no bashing i was only asking to get others opinions on this subject ...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • the Bible uses beasts of burden as an example. If a donkey and an ox are yoked together (which God forbid the people of Israel to do in Deuteronomy 22:10), the yoke will weigh heavily on one animal while choking the other, or as the animal with the longer stride moves ahead it will painfully drag the other along by the neck! They would not be able to pull smoothly or painlessly together and little work would get done. But when two animals of approximately the same size and weight are yoked together, they pull the plow smoothly, helping each other, and work is accomplished. Spiritually: becoming attached to a person who does not share your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior can be just as painful and counterproductive as the unequally yoked animals. When attached with someone emotionally (as a spouse), you are connected to someone who cannot "pull" equally with you in life.


    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 10:54 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • Ok, I saw in your previous response you say you pray FOR him. Have you all tried praying TOGETHER on this?

    It can be very difficult to have a marriage with 2 different faiths, no matter how great the guy. Not saying it is impossible. At least in your case you are both Christian. My husband is an atheist and I am a Christian, this is very difficult!

    My recommendation is that you both have time together to pray together to God about this and truly open your hearts to what he has to say. He will tell you what you both need to do. I wish you both the best.

    Answer by momof3inTN at 11:01 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

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