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What do you think?

I'm currently staying at my moms in California - separated from my husband. He says I can't come back until I have a job and a place to stay. He doesn't want to confuse the kids, thinking I've come home when it's no longer my home. I feel like he's calling all the shots, and I don't have any say or rights to my own feelings or opinions. I feel like he's dragging my feelings through the mud like a puppet. He said he fell out of love with me, and maybe we can get back together in a year or so. He needs some time and space away from me, he says, and needs to figure out why he has no friends. He said if he can't attract friends, how can he be a friend to me and be a good husband. He's a superior father to the kids. I've been away for a month now and may be going back to a job the 22nd of this month. I'll HAVE to stay with him and the kids until I get on my feet and get a place to live. Oh, it so sucks to be in love with

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Mar. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Leaving was probably the biggest mistake you could have made. Now he see's what life is like without you and he loves it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 AM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • ANON, I am really sorry as I know you are hurting. and as much as it may be tempting to barge and bully your way back into your house, like was suggestted...you are right you have to think about your kids(and yourself) and try to move on. :o(
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 7:19 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • *ETA* The deal was to just get away from him for a while for him to think. He didn't kick me out, nor did I just up and leave. It was a mutual agreement. We even have a Temporary Marital Separation Agreement (4 pages) written up. Yes, it's notarized. But, everything he says and does, tells me this is not temporary and it's over. I guess I should just accept it and move on. Think about my kids and myself. We shall see where this leads us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Your husband is putting the kids and their emotions first. The way it should be. You going there will just get their hopes up that you are getting back together. And from what you've said I don't see that happening. You left the home. Unless your name is on the deed or lease he doesn't have to let you back in. Or maybe if he told you to get out. But still, why would you want to put your kids through all that?

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:51 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • He's your husband. Unless you just got pissed and left he has a duty to let you back in your home. He's have to file papers to get you out and not even sure that would hold up in court. Just bc he doesn't like you anymore doesn't mean he can keep you alienated from your children and out of your home. Unless you fear abuse from him I'd be going home and telling him to suck it up.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:06 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • awww,..wow,..ya know,..time apart may help out,.. and you guys may just need a little separation time ya know?like he said maybe you guys can get together in year or so..did you guys get married young?
    naturepeace

    Answer by naturepeace at 10:47 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • That really sucks for you! I'm so sorry. I'm not sure i can give you any advice, just hold on there and you'll get through it!
    Ginanne

    Answer by Ginanne at 10:46 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • I think he is saying it is over hon. All the excuses, the job, the friends, the maybe in a yr...its all just him saying its over. i am sorry and hope good things for your future. Start taking care of you, and worry less about him. When you start taking care of you(and your kids) you will get some "power" back and not feel like his puppet so much. I am sorry you are hurting tho mama.(hug)
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:46 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

  • PART 2: someone and not be loved back!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Mar. 5, 2009

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