"Holding back" in kindergarten???

I am a bit...sad, upset, worried, I don't know!
My son had his PT Conference today and his teacher brought up the subject of my son repeating kindergarten!!!
Logically I think this may be okay, if he is really struggling I do not want to force him on to 1st grade and so forth and have him so frustrated he hates school...on the other hand...doesn't it feel like kindergarten children are pushed so hard now days???
When I was in kindergarten we had to learn how to color inside the lines and sing our ABC's...(I am 25ish). Now I am informed he needs to have beginner reading skills, know on sight 75 words...etc
I am also a bit worried that my son will know and feel left out when the rest of his friends move onto the 1st grade. He always tells people he will be in "a grade" next year (he doesn't consider kindergarten a grade) so now what? We are hoping to move at the end of April into a bigger place and now I am considering moving

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Asked by alexandersmom03 at 12:47 AM on Mar. 6, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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PS- I love, love, love to read and started reading to my son when I was Pregnant!!! I am so sad right now!

Answer by alexandersmom03 at 12:52 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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My husband and I chose to keep our daughter back, and she was in second grade! She was a little upset at first, but we are all thrilled that we made the decision we did. She is thriving now. She was a young K anyway, he birthday is days from the cutoff. Her friends have been great!!!!! No one has said anything negative at all.

It was the best decision we could have made for her. You son will do so much better if he repeats early on. I know it's hard, but it really may be the best decision you will make regarding his education.

Answer by Gilagirl at 12:53 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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I feel like I failed him somehow!

Answer by alexandersmom03 at 12:59 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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I para subbed in a kindergarten class last week. I worked with the kids on writing skills. I couldn't believe kindergarteners were writing sentences! It does seem like they are expected to do so much more, which is why preschool is so important now days. I do think that the expectations and pressures continue, and because of that it might be best to hold him back if the teacher advises you to do so. It's better for him to get it all now, and not struggle through all his school years. Good luck momma!

Answer by toriandgrace at 1:19 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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I was held back in kindergarten and it was the worst thing my parents/teachers could of done. Kids picked on me because I ws tall and still did not like school! I lost my motivation when my best friend moved on and I did not! sob,sob do not do this to your son!

Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

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I did a lot of research tonight. I printed off a lot of worksheets and tools to help him succeed. One thing was the size of the child. My son is very small, one of the smallest in his class, and so he will fit it stature wise. However, I am concerned that he will be affected by his friends moving on and him not.
On the one hand, it will be a great confidence booster when he is able to easily understand and learn new concepts but I just do not want him to have the stigma of being "retained". This is why I am considering moving to another school district.

Answer by alexandersmom03 at 1:53 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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I wouldn't worry about moving. He is young enough that most of the kids won't think anything of it. He will make many new friends next year and feel better because he will be smarter and farther ahead of the other kids.

I do agree that kiddos these days are taught and pressured WAY more than I experienced. I have stated more than once that in Kindergarten I was taught to sit down and shut up! My ABCs...how to count to 10...shapes...colors...etc. It shocks me when I keep getting notes home stating my kids are acting up and talking. I'm not surprised since the basically cut out recess and use K to teach writing instead of proper school etiquette and rules! I think it's easier for the kids to adjust and learn if they are put into the environment and taught the rules and such first.

Answer by tandknix at 2:02 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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It might be better for him to be held back in Kindergarten than later one in one of the higher grades.

It might be better for him to be held back and get a GOOD foundation for learning instead of struggling in the higher grades because he didn't have all the basic skills that would have helped him.

Answer by Anonymous at 4:51 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

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I understand how you feel, first off - do not blame yourself, children learn at different rates and where some may excel academically others may not, same is true for social skills. If your son is not meeting the requirements to advance then you need to examine where and why. Are these areas that you can help him with over the summer to help him go into first grade? If not then perhaps it is best he repeats kindergarten. I feel that at this age and the way school is ran these days kids don't really notice that kids are older as much as when we were in school and in older grades. The main thing is you don't want him to be behind at the start of 1st grade and set him up for failure. I know its tough, I'm experiencing similar things w/ my son for social reasons. Good luck! I wish you the best...

Answer by luv4bearnbeauty at 10:24 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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I think girls it is harder to hold back a girl. He might get teased for being held back though or snickered about. Have you asked the school district if summer/school is an option?

Answer by 2mothershelpers at 10:55 AM on Mar. 6, 2009
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