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So I caught my 10 year old son....

sending an email asking some chick if she wanted to have SEX! Completely shocked! We can't tell who the person is because it's on the playstation network. We didn't want to ground him but more so teach him why it is not ok. Of course he lied about it, but come on it's clear as day he did it. Throughout the night, we got him to admit it. What would you do? Is this normal? I know they started teaching kids in 4th grade about sex. He's really interested in puberty, asking if his voice sounds different and can I see any hair under his arm. I am just beside myself, he seems so young.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • ask him how he would feel if someone texted his sister , aunt or even you asking something like that. Make it personal to him so he can understand it's a real person he's talking to not just sending words out into cyberspace.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:24 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • i have caught my fourteen year old doing that sending messages on his phone and i took his phone. honestly not that i agreee with it but its kids these days they think they are older than what they are. i sat down and had a serious talk with him and he still hasnt gotten his phone back

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:25 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • That's pretty young, but really tho, nothing surprises me these days. My SIL has found similar stuff with both of her kids 4th and 6th graders. It's a scary world out there. I'd take away the playstatoin....and when he gets it back, it needs to be in a family room (if its not already), and no more playstation network. Also, he needs to learn the consequences of sex...whether protected or can be a serious matter. You can have safe sex and still get someone pregnant or STD's. Get him one of those baby dolls that they use in high school sex ed or parenting classes. I'm sure you can call your local health dept...and find out where to get one or if you can rent one from them. If you haven't seen these dolls, they cry, they need to be fed, changed and held. Make him keep it for a whole weekend...see how much he likes the consequences of sex. Good luck.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 8:28 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Oh mom, I would be beside myself too! Sounds like he needs some SERIOUS no holding back sex education NOW.

    I would buy a puberty/sex information book that had a lot of focus on STD's and teen pregnancies. He needs to know about the consequences of his decisions.

    I would definantly remove his email access and would restrict his internet time and would monitor it CLOSELY. He may find things he shouldnt on there if he is so interested in it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • ....this site is all about that doll I was telling you about in my first comment.

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 8:33 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I would take away his Play Station, not for what he did but for lying about what he did. I would make sure he knows that is the reason he lost it. Then I would teach, teach, and teach some more about the benefits of saving the sexual experience for marriage. It is a shame that we cannot allow our children to be children, but that decision has been taken away from us and left us no choice except to begin our own sex ed when our children are still babies. There is a series of books which you might find helpful. I'm not sure there is one for 10-year olds, but you can adapt the one for teens. The title is EVERY YOUNG MAN'S BATTLE. You can read it and teach him more on his level of understanding. There may be one for younger children. It will have a similar title. There's EVERY WOMAN'S, EVERY MAN'S, EVERY YOUNG WOMAN'S. The last word in all the titles is BATTLE, which is exactly what we are all in.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:37 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • What a thing to have happen! My son will be 10 one month from today. I have limited his online access for this reason. I did not want him to have too much access to "what is out there" until he was more socially mature and aware.

    That said, I am guessing in general, you have a good boy (or this would not be trowing you the way it is) and his fascination with puberty and body changes has him so confused. It would be my guess that he used the talk of "sex" because he thought it would make him sound cool and mature. I think kids get their butts in a jam all the time when they fake bravado to seem older than they are. So don't freak out too much! (easy for me to say, right?)

    Time to make sure your boy knows about sex, its repercussions, and the rights and wrongs of dealing with girls. I would also let him know about sexual harassment and that talking to a girl in that way can land him in hot water.

    Good luck!

    Answer by motofamily at 8:57 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Taking away his playstation isn't going to stop him from having sex, you need to sit down and talk to him about how serious sex it and make sure he knows the possible consequences. No matter how old he is you should make sure he knows about condoms....if he is going to do it, which I know you're praying he never does, he needs to be safe!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • a lot of kids his age are very interested in sex, its like the great unknown to them. I would definitely ground him for doing something like this, and explain that its inappropriate. Also make sure you talk to him about the dangers of sending messages to people over the internet or playstation connection, and what could happen (stranger abductions, etc..)
    Then talk to him about sex. safe sex.. etc. Make sure he knows how you feel about the situation and about sex in general, and your views on when sex is appropriate, etc...
    Good luck mama!!!

    Answer by kristal2146 at 9:03 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I think the sex education needs to be done now and I think its the right time, but he SHOULD have been punished...for lying. I think I would start with the body changes, feelings..ect and then move into the relationships. I might ask him what he knows first so you know what to correct and what to ellaborate on. Take away some priviliedges until he respects you enough to stop lying.

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:15 AM on Mar. 6, 2009