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Help, I don't want to have sex

I have a newborn. My 6-week check up with the ob/gyn is on Monday. My husband hasn't been pressuring me to have sex, but he's definitely hinting! I have no desire to have sex at all. It's not even because I'm afraid it will hurt, I just have no sex drive anymore. When we kiss if it starts to get hot and heavy I find myself praying the baby will start crying so that I have an excuse to stop. Is there something wrong with me?

Has anyone else gone through this? Are there any naural remedies I can use to increase my sex drive? I'm only 26, shouldn't I be wanting sex more?


Asked by CaylaLU at 8:29 AM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • This is really nromal, and probably happens more than people are willing to admit. When you go to your 6 week check up...please talk to your doctor about this. There are things that can help. i went thru this after having both of my children....with my son, I was too embarassed to say anything...but with my daughter I told my doc, my face beet red, but I told him. He offered up lots of great advice and made me feel very comfortable about it....and told me that almost all of his patients feel this way. Just know that it won't last forever...mostly its your hormones being all messed up from preganancy and giving birth.

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 8:42 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Give it time. It took me bout 2 months or so until I felt like my normal sex drive was back. You body is going through a lot of changes now and your mind is elsewhere. Explain this to dh and I would think he would understand.

    Answer by kboney29 at 8:37 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Totally normal, it's been six months and I'm still not usually up for it. Your body went through lots of changes and your hormones are still normalizing. Not to mention that all your "sexy"body parts just served a different purpose. I was also terrified of getting pregnant again which did't help matters, got an IUD, started getting more sleep and felt better about things. You can eat pumpkin seeds or take zinc too!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Don't worry I've had several people who have felt the same way. I think I was looking more foward to having sex then my husband was. He was terrified he would hurt me. Also your Dr. may not even clear you for sex. But I agree with pp, make sure you talk to your Dr. about it. I know some people who asked there Dr not to clear them just because they didn't feel like it. It is important though that you speak to your husband as well, its important to let him know that it isn't something he has done (well recently that is, lol). This way he doesn't come to resent the situation. Some men don't understand exactly how a womens body changes after a child. Especially the way we think and feel. Not to mention how exhausted we actually are. It is hard to get motivated to do anything when you are that tire.

    Answer by merechele at 8:51 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Your husband should understand dont be afraid to say something about it. Its perfectly normal. Luckily I didnt have to have sex with my hubby till 10 months after I had my son. He was deployed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • My DD is 16 months and I STILL have no sex drive. It is returning a little bit, but slowly. Totally normal. At the end of the day mothers are usually so "touched out" and exhausted, it is hard to want sex.

    Answer by epoh at 9:57 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Ok thanks for posting this question! I'm the SAME way and my DD is 7 months old. I tore real bad and sex has been hurting and we have been slowly trying to have normal sex again. But, you'd think I'd be into the other stuff that doesn't require intercourse, but that doesn't even turn me on.

    Answer by ABPeterson at 11:48 AM on Mar. 6, 2009