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Help!!!

My daughter is almost 11 months old..her "sperm donor" has only seen her 5 times since she's been born..he decided to take me to court for FULL CUSTODY to be spiteful because I took him for child support..I just went the other day for the conciliation..(the second part in the custody process)..and after telling the women who was taking care of our case that my daughter's "sperm donor" didn't want me to have my daughter in the first place..wanted me to get an abortion..didn't come to any of my doctor's appointment while I was pregnant..didn't come to my baby shower..denied my daughter when she was born..didn't sign her birth certificate..only seen her 5 times since she was born..only because i kept bugging him..she still have him joint custody..and they only gave two weeks until he has her over night..for the whole weekend..and in those two weeks he will see her on Wednesday's and Saturdays for a few hours..I am a great mother.

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Serenity417

Asked by Serenity417 at 10:39 AM on Mar. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I'm 19..I'm a full time student and I am pretty much with my daughter 24/7..if I'm not in school..i don't understand how they could give him soo much and soo fast after not being in her life for soo long..I don't know how to handle being without my daughter..especially over night!..I don't know what to do with myself..i wasn't prepared for this at all..everyone kept telling me there was no possibility of him getting more than visitation on the weekends..is there anyone who knows if there's anything I can do to get him to have her less time???
    Serenity417

    Answer by Serenity417 at 10:44 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • If he didn't sign the birth certificate, did he prove he's the father? He would have to do that. However, I do imagine that if you are getting child support then he must have proved it. Since he is the father..........even if just the sperm donor as you said...............he does get the right to visitation. (I know it sucks, going thru the same situation here.) I'd fight the joint custody. With my ex, I have sole custody (tricked him into signing the papers that say so). He's clearly doing this out of spite and for no other reason. Keep a diligent eye on her. When she comes home, check her over, make sure there are no unexplained bruises, etc. And wait this out. He may back off, now that he gets the visitation. And you might get lucky enough that he will blow off the visits. Good luck!!!
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:47 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Not to sound uncaring, but all this lady has is your word against his. Even if what you said was true, how is she to know that? He might have told her a completely different story (and I'm sure he made himself out to be a great dad..). So, try not to blame the court system. They are trying to give everyone a fair shot. That being said, it will be hard to be without your baby. Just make sure you give him the chance to do his full visitation (so he can't throw that at you in court later) and always try and be "peaceful" with the drop offs and pick ups. If she is dirty/hungry/whatever when you pick her up, don't say anything to him,just go home and document things w/pics and writing down time/day/what you noticed etc. This may help you with coustody later. But, just maybe, him spending time with the baby (for whatever reason) will help him bond with her more and he will improve his daddy skills. Theres always hope. Good luck!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 6:28 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

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