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How to handle problem with 15-year-old daughter's roommate?

My daughter attends a fine-arts boarding high school and she has some problems with her roommate: late hours; making up relationships and creating fake facebook pages to converse with people; not showering and thus the room smells badly; using my daughter's things without permission. My question is this ... Am I meddling if I contact resident life about these concerns, or would it be better to contact the girl's mother first. My daughter has tried talking to her, but mostly she just gets lies or dismissals in return. For some reason I feel that I am meddling if I personally contact resident life, and I don't know why I feel that way. Any thoughts?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Have your daughter talk to resident life, not you. Sounds like the roommate could be depressed and need help. If after talking to resident life, nothing is done...then you should step in. Your daughter may only be 15, but she really needs to learn how to do things for herself. She is away at school and you aren't there to hold her hand. Talk to her about what she can say to resident life about the situation and let her handle it at first. If she would be more comfortable, maybe you can take a visit to the school and be with her while she talks to resident life.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 3:51 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • ask your dd what she wants you to do. does she want your help or does she want to handle this on her own

    Answer by twinsnseptember at 11:30 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Agree with above poster. Ask your daughter how involved she wants you to be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Just to clarify, my daughter has asked for my help, that's why I am looking for an opinion on how to proceed. And my question is about whether I am meddling in the roommate's business, not my daughter's business. Thanks for any advice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • In my opinion, your not meddling at all, you're being a parent...I would contact resident life and explain the situation and see if either the girl could move or your daughter could move...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:56 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • it is not meddling if it bothering your dd. dd obvisiously is not happy and i am sure that your want her to be happy. so yes i would call resident life. and if the room smells bad then that is gross.


    Answer by twinsnseptember at 3:13 PM on Mar. 6, 2009