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DH losing sex drive after childbirth?

I asked this the other day, but I think I asked too late in the day. I'd really appreciate some help!

I have an interesting situation that I need help with.
After my DS was born 2 1/2 years ago, my DH seems to have lost his sex drive. He watched me give birth and it tore me up pretty good, I ripped top and bottom. It took 12 weeks after giving birth for us to have sex and then it hurt, badly. Every time we do have sex, I tear. I also haven't been able to orgasm, either.
We have a great marriage. He is very loving and kind. We still cuddle and are affectionate and kissy. I still feel really connected to him. Whenever it comes to sex, I have to initiate. It doesn't seem to even faze him if we haven't done it for months.
I'm really close to having another baby and desperately want us to be able to get our sex lives back after I've recovered.
Has anyone else been through this? How did you get back on track?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • This is common and I believe there is a term for what men experience after watching us give birth, I just cannot remember the name. My brother went through something similar after his DW had their DD.
    Men are more base than we are. They don't transition well. They prefer to look at our bottoms as something they "hit" rather than what it goes through when we give birth. Some men really have a problem getting over what they see. Some are afraid that to get us pregnant again or to have sex with us again is to cause us great pain and it takes the wind out of their sails if you will. I would try talking to him about this. Be open and honest about how you are feeling. He sounds like an awesome guy, maybe he just needs some reassurance that you aren't going to fall apart if he touches you again. Good luck.

    Answer by salexander at 11:57 AM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I'm sorry I can't help you because I'm going through the same thing =(

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • There are two things. One being him watching it could have made him look at you in a different way. Two being that you waited 12 weeks before even doing anything and it's proven that if you have sex regularly you will want sex regularly. The less you have it, the less you will want it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

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