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I am feelin suffocated. DD is EBF and I swear I'm in contact with her 24/7! I don't even like touching DH anymore..what do I do??

She can't go to a babysitter because from newborn on she wouldnt take a bottle (yes we tried ALL of them) or a paci. She wakes up every 15 minutes in her crib because she doesnt feel ME. I feel like I'm losing it just a little bit. I need to go out. I need to be able to pee without taking my baby. I love being a mom, but I need some space. And I need to feel like my husband being close to me isn't more suffocation.
I'm a SAHM, have a great husband who helps when he can. Baby is 5 months. Any suggestions at all?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Your baby should be old enough to start some foods. Consult your doctor as to which ones are best. If she gets hungry and won't take a bottle while you are out , she can at least have some foods to eat. That will give you a chance to go out and have some "you" time. Can you hire a "mother's helper?" This is someone that comes over to play/babysit your DD while you are still at home. You can get things done, spend some time just chilling by yourself and you're there if the mother's helper or your DD need you. Try having DH hold the baby more. If she cries, it isn't the end of the world. You know she's crying because she's mad you aren't holding her, NOT because she needs help or is sick. You can also take your DD and DH or mother's helper to the mall with you. Do some alone shopping but have them be at a store nearby in case they need you. Try an arm's reach bassinett next to your bed (cont.)

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:00 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • So leave her alone with DH - give her a chance to see what it's like without you.

    If she cries, it's NOT the end of the world.

    Go to the mall, walk around for an hour.

    Tell DH to lie and say it went great - because eventually it WILL be great.

    Answer by Wimsey at 12:22 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I feed 2 ounces by bottle and then I pop him the boob. While he is on the bottle he still looks up at me and he sings to his bottle the whole time. He doesnt mind,and stays fuller longer, while still getting the benifits of the boob, I love having a few min. while he sucks down the 2 ounces to jump in the shower while a friend or his Daddy feede him... Give yourself a break, you can only do so much, and your milk production wont drop by giving him 2 ounces cause you will still be feeding him untill he is full and he will eat more cause he can

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 12:24 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I know exactly what you mean!!! Same situation here!! I had trouble with my milk coming in in the first place so I had to give him formula till it came in. I now do both so I still feel that way but every once in a while I can leave him with someone and get some space. Pumping never works for me but I still do it when I can to keep my milk supply up since he gets formula 2. Babies are hard work sometimes. I feel like I could just fall over from mental and physical exhaustion but it is so worth it.

    Answer by ZachsAngel at 12:32 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I would just keep trying to give him the bottle...I was feeling the EXACT same way....I have started pumping during the day and bottle feeding and nursing at nite. So i can run errands and do things around the house while daddy feeds her. Plus it gives them bonding time....try dripping the milk into his mouth from the bottle so he knows whats coming out of it. Feeling like that with your husband happened to me too. My DD is 6 months old and my husband and I were intimate for the FIRST time last week since I was 5 months doc finally put me on meds for PPD b/c that is part of it not wanting to be with your DH and feeling frustrated...If it continues maybe you should call you doc and get some help for it instead of being frustrated. Its worth it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Your baby is old enough to start rice cereal. My DD wouldn't take a bottle and I had bottles of frozen bm in the freezer, so I mixed the bm in w/her rice cereal. She loves it! This can also give me a break and DH can feed her. You need a break 'cause believe me you'll go crazy if you don't. My favorite escape is the gym. I get a break from the baby and can work off the baby weight. She may cry right when you leave but once DH starts to play w/her and distract her, she'll be just fine!

    Answer by ABPeterson at 12:48 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • (cont.) to make feedings easier at night. She'll be right next to you and won't wake as easily letting you get some sleep.

    I have a "clingy" son too. It took me a while to figure out what worked for us so that I could get things done (and give my back and arms a rest from holding him. He's 15lbs already!). In the morning, I put him in his bassinett and turn the mobile on and wheel it into the bathroom so I can take a shower. When I need to vaccum or do other things, I put him in his swing or his bouncy seat which he'll tolerate for a good while before wanting to be held again. I just put these things in the same room as me so that he can still see/hear me while being entertained with his toy.

    Good luck!

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:00 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I was in the same boat when my DS was that age. I felt like I was going crazy!! I promise, it does get better. We just kept putting him in his crib over and over and he would last longer and longer in it each time. He finally got used to being in there. He still has to snuggle with me sometimes, but its nothing like it used to be. I also noticed, when he started eating baby food it started getting better. Let your DH help out more so you can get a break, afterall it's his baby too! I know I had and still have trouble with that sometimes because I guess I just feel I should be doing everything or i'm a bad mom or something. I have to remind myself not to feel guily asking for help, especially from my DH!!

    Answer by RomansMom25 at 1:02 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • OP here...thanks so much everyone. this really helps. I might print this out and show it to DH so he can help me do these things. I really appreciate it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • As for the waking up every 15 minutes in her crib... If you think you can handle it, let her cry for a bit in her crib. She's getting old enough to learn to self-soothe, but she needs to have chances to learn how to do it for herself. I know a lot of people are opposed to crying it out, but it worked well for us and we're all a little happier because of it. If you can put her down to bed without you being next to her, then you can put her to bed, say goodbye to dh, and go out for a cup of coffee... or whatever you by yourself.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 2:34 PM on Mar. 6, 2009