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Why are some ex wives so vengeful towards their ex even though they are the ones that wanted out?

C'mon ladies you wanted out of the marriage and now you are miserrable and you are trying to make other people (the guy she left) pay for your mistakes by making them miserrable and pay more money not caring about his new life with the next kids. (No considerations whatsoever) then again why should you it is all about YOU!!! Move on....We did...I just had to ask this

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Depends on the reason she wanted out! My ex cheated on me and lied all the time and was irresponsible with our money. He was awarded a car in our divorce and it was reposessed. I'm still having to deal with that. So, in a case like that, no I wouldn't give two shakes about his new family because he didn't take care of prior obligations that still need to be taken care of. I also had to go through the state to get him to pay child support. So, it really depends on the history. I am now happily remarried, but my ex needs to take care of responsibilities he had long before he got remarried. I have taken care of all aspects of what I was supposed to in our divorce decree. My ex tells people what he thinks they want to hear and so I doubt he has told his new wife the whole story. So just remember there are two sides. Of course your hubby could have been the one in my position in his situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • because people give up on marriage to easy these days and when you are married you go through things to grow through things and sometimes both people do not pull the weight causing a major problem in their relationship and when the ex is misbehaving it is because they see what they could have been again and regret alot of things but also feed off what is dished out. So, with that being said, stop feeding the ex and eventually they will get full of nothing. This is what we did and we are all now getting along and have few problems.
    It is hard for some people to move on but I would not blame just one person either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • maybe they didn't want out of the marriage but that was the only way out of a bad situation. it doesn't mean that they didn't care - perhaps they wanted to find a way to make things work and can't resolve themselves to the fact that it won't. perhaps they need reinforcement that they mattered somehow.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:24 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Some ex-wives who wanted out are "vengeful" toward the ex b/c the ex is being an a$$. My ex owes me $12000 in child support and stopped coming to see my kids 4 yrs ago. So, if you want to know why the ex doesn't care about his new family, why don't you explain to us why the new wife doesn't care that the ex isn't living up to his responsibilities to his original family?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • It's funny, I wish my ex would meet someone,lol He's miserable, crys to our kids, tells them he doesn't have any money, makes our boys feel bad, when they shouldn't even have a worry in the world... He see's them on a regular basis, I never use them against him, yet he calls my hubby and complains about not having enough time... The only thing we tell him is to get an attorney, have it changed if he doesn't like it, he says he doesn't have the money for it and can't afford to keep them very long... It's a constant contridiction... So I just exchange the boys, don't say a word, kiss the boys and pick them up again on Sunday... Our boys are starting to beg me to not make them go, I just tell them they need have some Daddy time and keep my mouth shut...

    Answer by 4x4mum at 2:36 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Because despite what he told you the reason why the marriage ended isn't always the truth...there had to be a reason and nine times out of ten the man either cheated or was an awful husband...most men are so far behind in child support that it's pitiful!

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:38 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • oh yeah it is always the mans fault. What a sorry excuse. There are some very good men out there. How about the wife who kicks the husband out 4 times in one year for no reason then puts a trumped up restraining order on him so he can't see his son. Then when they get divorced and moves on and gets remarried the stupid x plays all sorts of games trying to keep the child from his father and his step mother. Oh and the father pays child support religiously and calls every week no matter how many times the pathetic ex wife tries to cause problems..... I don't buy into the 'its always the mans fault' or 'you don't know everything then' Some women are pathetic excuses for human beings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • You say you don't buy into the not knowing everything. This is something someone told me yrs ago, and I always remember it, b/c I think it's more true than anything else:

    There are 5 sides to every story:

    1. The side A tells
    2. The side B tells
    3. The side A DOESN'T tell
    4. The side B DOESN'T tell
    5. The truth

    In every situation, including a broken marriage, everybody involved is going to have their version of what happened, and that version will usually have some truth, but it will also be washed clean of some of their more unpardonable "sins". The truth is usually somewhere in between what both people say, and what they don't say. So, even if your hubby tells you that she's evil and vindictive, that doesn't mean he plays no role in her being that way. Just like when she says it's all his fault and he's a horrible guy, it doesn't mean she had no part in making him that way.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:15 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

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