Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Divorced women and marriage advice...

I have always found it interesting when divorced women (or men) give marriage advice to someone who is married. Now I do understand that things happen, like drugs or cheating that cause a divorce. I am not bashing divorced women, my mother has been divorced twice and I think she is better for it. But to me, it just seems odd. Am I the only one?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I don't think anything is wrong with it. They are probably giving you advice that they didn't have to maybe help save their own marriage. I don't think it's about knowing more.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I'm divorced and remarried...I think it's safe to say that most divorced women / men can offer great advice to married people because most people learn from their mistakes and can give a different outlook...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:00 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I think sometimes when you go through a traumatic experience like a divorce you spend a lot of time reflecting on what went wrong, and it is possible to come out of it more enlightened. It's also a lot easier to see what someone else could do differently than it is to see your own mistakes. I personally learned a lot from marriage failure, and I'm in a very happy and healthy mariage now.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 4:05 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I have to agree with the PPs. Once you experiance a divorce, you reflect on yourself and the marriage. Also, by the time you get divorced, many people have gone through some type of counseling and can offer up an amateur analysis of the situation and ideas learned in therapy that could help the marriage. (such as listening/fighting techniques and helpful communication ideas)

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 4:36 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • sort of like a nun teaching sex ed, huh?

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:14 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • ok, if I offended any Catholics with that, I'll apologize now.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:14 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I kind of look at my divorce as a "what not to do" when it comes to marriage, so far it seems to be working in my current relationship.

    Oh, and admckenzie, the nun joke was funny =)

    Answer by heratyc at 6:23 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • I'm so much better now that I'm divorced. I left, reflected and can give great advice now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Just because someone gets divorced, doesn't mean that they didn't make good decisions during the marriage. They may be giving you advice on what not to do also...

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 7:45 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • There's no better way than to teach by example... and these women now know what they should've done in hindsight. Take the advice. I'm sure they wish someone had given it to them! And it is very rude and condescending assuming that someone is a failure at relationships bc they've been divorced. Things do happen. LOTS of things can happen that are outside of those poor women's control. In fact I don't know one single person who hasn't had a failed relationship at some point in their lives, marriage or otherwise...are they all horrible at relationships and is it dumb to take their advice too?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.