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Heartache or Depression? 16 year old son upset over a breakup

My sixteen year old son broke up with a girl he had been dating for nine months. The breakup happened sometime in early February. He still really hasn't bounced back and has been more withdrawn than he used to be and doesn't spend as much time with friends as he used to. Is he still needing more time to get over the breakup, or should I be concerned about depression sinking in?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Mar. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • It could be depression, but it has only been a month. I remember my first break up, I wanted to die, but we get older and wiser. Have a heart to heart with him. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, then take him out to do something fun that'll get his mind off things and back to being a teen again. If you notice he is still sad or depressed then take him to talk to someone. Good luck. I so dread the day me son has his frist heart break.
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 11:59 PM on Mar. 6, 2009

  • Tough life lesson. But very good that you are aware of his emotional state. See if you can possibly find some new interests/activities for him. Keep your awareness, good momma!
    Trinjo

    Answer by Trinjo at 12:17 AM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • My 16 yr old (at the time) grandson contemplated suicide. That is how heartbroken he was over a breakup of a long time girlfriend. We talked and I asked him how he felt about moving on to other relationships. I told him the adage about people coming into our lives for a reason and a season and that her season with him was over but he could remember all the wonderful things being with her taught him and carry them on to his future relationships. Assure him she will hold a special place in his heart always but that this opens a new door to new opportunities. Maybe that will help. Now if he has a disorder that makes him see this as abandonment and not just a healthy break up then he might need to see someone to help him get past it. It's never easy letting go of someone you love.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:40 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • There is enough pressure on teens as it is without going through the breakup thing. But if he is withdrawn, does not find pleasure in things he used to enjoy, could be depression. Has he lost his energy, sleeps a a lot???? You may want to seek professional help. I am talking from experience. I went through this with my 17 year old. The depression turned to anxiety and then problems with school grades. Best of luck to you both
    dlb99

    Answer by dlb99 at 7:22 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • It could be depression. Thats a hard age to know just the right thing to say when something like that happens. You could see about getting him onto some medication to help him get through it. But is he going to cooperate going to the doctor. Maybe just.. talking about it to him. Sometimes teenagers feel like they have noone to talk to about those things. Good luck. I hope all ends up going well with him.
    JmgBlair

    Answer by JmgBlair at 7:54 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I think it is depression, just maybe situational. is there a counselor you can take him to to help him deal a lil bit? I remember so well my first heartbreak at 13 and it spun me out of control for a couple yrs...it really did and I wish someone had been like you and questioned it. Rather than saying"oh its puppy love,a dn she will get over it" I ish someone had taken me to a professional...I was drowning....
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:51 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • Take what he is going through seriously... ( which you are)

    At times us as adult think what our children are going through in a relationship is "puppy Love"

    He is hurt and depressed... Since it's fresh it's going to take time for him to get over... Soon he will bounce back...

    It sounds like this is his first love... and they had a serious relationship...

    It is going to take time... Soon he will bounce back..

    Take his feeling serious and listen if he comes to you for advice..

    Things will be back to normal in no time...

    Elizabeth1837

    Answer by Elizabeth1837 at 12:24 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

  • Its always hard for anyone when they break up with someone but your son has been with this girl for quite a while and as he's still quite young (well same age as me) it will affect him worse than 18's anmd above
    Amber-Leigh

    Answer by Amber-Leigh at 1:56 PM on Mar. 8, 2009

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