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married to a 10 year old

I feel like i do 90% of the work in and on our relationship; I pay the bills, read the books on how to raise our son, make baby food, dinner for DH do all the grocery shopping, go to school online, clean the house, apply for medicaid/food stamps, currently looking at daycares. He "works"(unemployed for the last 4 months), does trash and laundry(after being nagged for days). I tried telling him how i feel about it, and he just writes me off as crazy and emotional. When I ask him to do anything (put on the baby's socks) I get a ten minute shpeil about why he doesn't want to(baby doesn't like socks). It's driving me nuts, I told him that I think we need counciling (of course I'm the one who needs to set up the appointment, among all of my other deadlines) he doesn't understand why we can't just "talk" about ourselves. Anyone got any ideas on how to get through to him? Or just know what I'm going through?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Mar. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Sounds like you need a new husband lol, wow, my husband helps me out SO much.... Having a child takes 2 of you. You need to talk to him, or go to counseling, good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • also, why isnt he looking to get a job, he needs to, to support his family
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • Men are children sometimes. Try talking as calm as you can and do not take anything personal.

    Also make some time for yourself. :)
    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 1:23 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • Dear Anonomous, sounds like you're talking about my XH. We were married 9 years, had 2 kids together, and I went through everything you're going through now. It wasn't until after we divorced did he get help for himself. He found out he was a depressed person, went on medication for that, lived with his mom for a year to put himself through "card-dealer" school, got a well paying job after that, and it was after all of that he was able to step up to the plate and really be involved with his kids. Sadly, his behavior in our marriage caused me to fall "out of love" with him, and even though he straightened himself out, too much time had passed and my feelings never changed back for him. Maybe you could have your DH read this and see what might possibly happen if he continues his behavior. BTW, I also suggested counseling to my then husband and he said the same thing. But, I went anyway. Good Luck.
    Danishlady

    Answer by Danishlady at 1:27 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • I do everything alone to but he usually helps when i ask
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:46 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

  • you let this happen. Make it stop. Tell him what's up. This is just crazy how many women whine about this but have let it go on without putting a stop to it and it gets out of control. You wouldn't let your child do this so why let him? Once I realized I was doing it all I asked him what I had him there for? He couldn't answer. As I dragged the garbage out I had an epiphany....and I went back in and told him to pack and get his sorry ass out. Family = team. If he's not a team player then restructure the team
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Mar. 7, 2009

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